A compliment is a compliment

..no matter who, how, when and what the exact words are…

Son never ever wants his father to wash his bum after potty. Yes, wash bum, we Indians, I have to say proudly, wash our bum with water after the poo. Wiping is not our way. A wipe will never do for us. Nope sir, no, nahi, Wipe? I mean, I cannot fathom how does that is called a clean bum.

Nevermind, don’t tell me.

How is all this related to a compliment?

Patience is a virtue and am getting there. Read on. I have a feeble mind, get’s high with just any good words coming my way.

Son always wants me during his potty time. It’s a sort of compliment for a mother but not for this post.

Yesterday, as usual, he was busy prattling when sitting on the commode, I asked why he won’t let his papa wash his bum, why only me?

Because, mummy, you are thin and slim like my POTTY. 

And, here comes the blush!

Wait, he compared me to potty? Ewwwww! Yuk!

Hey, wait, he said – thin and slim. Lemme highlight that – thin and slim.

That’s my boy! I can wash his bum forever, and ever, and ever.

 

Son , THAT is not what I meant.

Location : Assam – mountain , rain ,  waterfall.

Me : Adi , Look that is waterfall .. see how water is falling down ..waterfall.

Location : Tamini Ghat , again – mountain , rain ,  waterfall.

Me : Adi , yaad hai  (Remember this ?) a waterfall . Isn’t it lovely?

Location : Morning at Home  , Adi woke up with a full bladder.

Adi ( in the bathroom , naughty smile ) : Mummy , mummy Look waterfall !

Calvin peeing
Yes , this is Calvin peeing , expression reminded me of my Son showing his “waterfall” Image courtesy – Google.

 

Nope , nope , nope , no , no , no son ..nahi!

THAT ! is not what I meant!

Yes son , you are so yummy , I ate you!

 

14th August,2012

I saw him first , 4 years ago. My first feeling  “Why is he so tiny? Doc said he will be above 3 kilos. Look at his nose , his eyes , he looks like my papa!” and I was hooked.

Ever since then, I haven’t stopped loving him , falling head over heels with this little man every single day. The kind of love I have for him , actually surprise me. That am capable of loving someone so much. And the best part is I get love in return,so much more than I could imagine. The little man loves me , adores me , lights me up with his voice. He does everything right , at least to me. Believe it or not , a mother can feel , actually literally feel her child’s physical pain. I did for , possibly first two years. And stopped only after he started faking his pain to mess with me , or to get attention ,or just to be naughty.

Every year , I tell myself “Oh this is the best phase, I wish he would never grow out of this (phase). ” And he amazes me with his next milestone.

Yesterday, a day before he turned 4 , he finished his rice plate himself, on his own . The waiter at biryani house gave him a plate ,a little spoon and he started eating himself. Before I could help , which I do usually, my husband shushed me and I watched him use a spoon and eat rice-biryani , from the corner of my eyes , heart thumping in excitement (I swear these motherly hormones behave crazily stupid someday , what is so exciting ? he is only eating rice with spoon???!) . Well , that was just once but it is a start.

We celebrated his 4th birthday today ,on 14th Aug , aka the day I meant to publish this post. Happy Birthday, Son <3. I will always love you. I cannot help , but love you all my life.

His take on turning 4 ” So am I as big as papa now?

So , now to come back to the title of this post. 

Me: Happy Birthday Adi , wow you are a big 4-year old now!

Adi : Why ?

Really ?! “why” that is the response..? The perpetual stream of “Why”  from kid these days!. 

Me : Because , 4 years ago, you were born from my tummy son.

Adi :  Kyoun ? Aap mujhe kha gaye the kya mummy? Mummy , Did you eat me up ?

Ahem , ahem, So how he ended up in my tummy at first place! Good question.

Me (Hugging him tightly) : Yes , You are very very yummy Adi , so I ate you 🙂 , And now am gonna eat you again ……..

2016-08-16 12.57.54
He refuses to pose for the camera  , this pic was taken a few months ago and the best one I have. Believe it or not , he is the love of my life and I don’t even have a proper pic to share.

When God wants , he just wants . He is quite stubborn that way!

The plan was great.. Sort of foolproof.

It was simple and it was based on facts , truth , stories and folklore and human behavior.

Husband and I , are made  for each other. And also  made of bones   lazy bones and flesh. If we could have our way , I will be reading , sleeping and fishing all day , all year long and he would , well (pause) , he would never ever even lift his finger.

PS : If you would ask him , he, of course, would deny , but remember you are my friend , not his. Whom would you trust ? Me or Him? If you said Him , Congratulations! You made it to my send-hitmen-to-hit list!

Moving ahead,

Like I said. We had planned it well. I always wanted a child. One who would be ours. My eyes , definitely my nose and his voice (only) . He will grow up to be a smart , handsome and very very resourceful boy.

Scene 1 : Me and husband watching TV , Need to change the channel , but remote is on the table at the far corner.

Me : Adi , Pass me that remote .

Adi will run , the boy wanna impress me with his speed. He will feel proud that I asked him something. He will rush , bring me the remote and I can see accomplishment in his eyes. Husband and I will clap Good Boy and hail him hero!

Doesn’t all 4-year-old love that? No kidding ! That is a fact.

Haven’t you ever asked any kid to open a water bottle? He will do it with pleasure.  And with more than one 4-year-old , there is a possibility of a riot, each vying for my attention and bring me my desire.

Scene 2 : Am reading , the window is open and the breeze is cool. I feel cold. Perhaps one should switch off the fan.hmm , I wonder who could help me with that?

Adi will run and boy !Am impressed …My Bolt.

This is his one growing phase  , I wish he would never grow out. I wish and it is my husband’s wish too. He is just waiting for the time when he can ask him to bring remote , water bottle , handle switches blah blah blah.

Meanwhile , up above the sky , God was listening. He understood us. He knew what we wanted. He had the exact kid in mind. He was happy to send him to us and we were thrilled to receive him!

Now the Reality.

Scene 2 : Am reading , the window is open and the breeze is cool. I feel cold. Perhaps one should switch off the fan.hmm , I wonder who could help me with that?

Me : Adi, please switch off the fan.

Adi who is playing just a hand away from fan switch , just few inches away  will look up and .

Adi (with curious eyes) : Why mummy ?

Me : coz its cold.

Adi ( with more curiosity): Why is it, cold mummy ?

Me : coz it’s breezy . The window is open. See kitni achi hawa

Adi (with the look of wtf) : Why is the window open?

Me : Coz I left it open? (I hope that will shut him up)

Adi (then it is clearly not my problem look) : Why did you leave it open ?

Me : I did not , but then if you would just reach out .. it is one in the middle.

Adi ( Are you insane) : But you just said you did. Why did you say so?

Me ( Did I say that ? ) : Ahem ahem .. I did say that because I thought ….that .. now it is the one in the middle. It is very breezy .. if you would just.

Adi (I have to get to the bottom of this issue) : What were you thinking mummy ?

….

After 10 minutes and 100 questions later .

I get up and switch off the fan. Yes , the one in the middle.

Meanwhile , up above the sky , God is feeling slightly more proud than he should be. If you ask me !

Thatsmyboy

 

 

How did scene 1 end in reality ? Don’t even get me started unless you are home and am watching TV and I need YOU to pass remote …

Grrrrrrr God ,

wehadadeal

 

PS: All images from google image search. Thank you letting me use!

I want twins …..sure?

2012:

We want twins . We always wanted twins. I have to do something may be eat 2 banana, eat 2 chapati .. everything in multiplication of 2.

Shall we ask doctor if it’s possible somehow ?

I read somewhere women who conceive after certain age are most likely to have twins. Shall we postpone ?

Oh , How I wish I have twins! Let’s check out cloning?

Me : Why can’t you teach your swimmers to join hands and end up in a draw ! .. I  really really wanna have twins..

Iwannatwins

 

But Alas , Life is not a freaking wish granting factory!

Doc , Are you sure .. look closely ..their might be another egg and sperm trying out ?

My sister has twins

Am so happy , at least someone has twins…she is so lucky!

sheislucky

My sister comes home with her year old twins named L and K

L sleeps at 2000 , K at 2300. L wakes up at 600  and K at 1000. Each child takes turn to wake up every 2 hours.

L likes cerelac for breakfast , K likes his meal less mushy. Two breakfasts.

L is playing with red car. K wants the very same red car at the very same moment. One screams , other is crazily happy seeing bro scream!

L pees , then K pees and then L poos and then K poos. And then L needs to pee again. And then it is bath time , one after another.

K is playing with his favorite toy when L wants mommy. Then contagiously K also wants mommy. Mommy wants to pee but who cares!

After  2 days , sister goes back with her twins.

Me , husband finally : Yay ! We do not have twins! 

thankgod
Google.

“Bach gaye”!

 

One word inspiration ,Never do it empty stomach.

(Feeling inspired , thinking head and  jumping heart )

That was awesome .. ? I think it is a wonderful idea..

Yeah , Yes.. We should totally do it.

Define a word that would be my North Star  for 2016. Am thinking…………

Sleep. 

Head : What ? How could you come up with that word. one word , just (louder) ONE word  , you lazy lazy bum …ONE word to be your torch for 2016 , that you would embrace completely , love deeply , stick by it  and the first word you choose is ( insulting pause ) S-L-E-E-P .  

You are not my heart anymore!

Like it or not , am sticking around.  Can’t you see? We both looooove sleeping . Why not make it  official!

Any trouble in life , just sleep it off. This too shall pass while you dream on your cozy bed , with you, my dear head resting on pillow.

Head: Thinking is my job , stupid heart.  Lemme do it. Quietly.

Hmm , Okay.

After a minute .

Here is another one. Chicken.

Ta-da!

Head: (fumes coming out of one ear ) Aha, Chicken , hmm? Exactly ,How does that inspire you ? When do you ever hear anyone say let’s do it like chicken … Let’s be like chicken ? Chicken is born to die .. remember , it’s bred only for recipe .

C’on .Chicken is inspiration .We go extra miles for that one joint in other part of city famous for chicken biryani! How can you forget Afgani chicken kebabs..

Head : (fumes coming out of both the ears and a bit of nose )Did you even get what the post means? What it means to have a word as torch for 2016.

(murmuring) Well .. chicken fits. Its a light .. a  guiding torch , guiding us to that biryani wala .

Head: (fuming) We need a word which is like #growing 

After a minute .

Oh wait. Here is another one..

Head (interrupting  harshly) : Not FISH!  That doesn’t qualify either. What is wrong with you .. Food is your inspiration ? Think Verb .. think action.

(murmuring) Sleeping qualifies as verb , and you are thinking now at dinner time rather than eating ….food. I can only see chicken and fish floating around me now .

Head is in complete state of meditation , thinking , occasionally a sound , a murmur  , sometimes yapping  : A word for me ….. to help me  …inspiration….

After dinner.

I could see chicken and fish cannot be inspiration for 2016! That was my empty stomach talking before dinner. Now stomach is sleeping , head is still searching for word… yapping…

My 3 year old boy walks in, comes straight to my lap , face towards me … his little arms wrapped around my neck.. 

Adi : Mummy , let’s play the game happy face , angry face.

(Presses my right cheek) c’on , show me happy face, (presses again) abhi gussa(= now angry face). Wiggles his nose to get his angry look , giggles with laughter for happy face.

Head and Heart , both measuring his immeasurable cuteness..

One word.  Son.

Will get me through , any or everything .. when he has his arms around my neck .

PS :  This post is Blogging 101 assignment , to write a post inspired by other post.

In reality , though I agree with Safari Girl, I could not think of anything more inspiring for me than my own family and especially my son. A bit bore ending , humorless than originally intended. Nevertheless ..  am still measuring his cuteness..

 

 

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge, Day 1!

Thank you nerdsakshi and  pranabaxom for giving me this challenge.

I could not start it sooner , coz my sister with her a year old twin boy were visiting us and my favorite quote for the whole time was “Which one (of the twins) woke up” .. Sssh!

Twins, I tell you . Both a year old , same age 😉 , I tell you . both boys , Boy! Do I really need to tell you 🙂

Anyways ..Challenge accepted. It didn’t come with any expiry time.. So I assume am not out of race and can bore you with one quote a day I like..

Challenge Rules:

  • Post three consecutive days.
  • You can pick one or three quotes per day.
  • Challenge three different bloggers per day

Now , the quote. 

Being a mother is like flowing in hormones of awe , happy , sad , OMG! , oops , that hurts , am-gonna-cry , go-to-hell-that-boy-beating-my-boy , keep calm , have mercy , GOD -where-are-you , Husband-where-are-you ,  …blah blah blah ..

BUT finally I have found Nirvana with “Finding Nemo” and I remember this always when am dealing with my hormones and son.

Marlin: I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.

Dory: Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise.

Marlin: What?

Dory:  Well you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.

My nominees are

  1. Jake
  2. Lucky 
  3. SimpleDimple

PS: I should probably tell these persons of challenge  , or NOT. That way .. they may not come across this crucial missing piece of information to win the challenge that am challenging them and may not quote anything and I may win this!

What’s the prize money to win this challenge , I need to ask nerd and prana?

 

 

Last race and am too sleepy to decide on title..so will leave it

Time to sleep.

For most of us. Some are more blessed then me. than  or then ? Mwaaah..

10:37 PM Isn’t it late ?Yeah we sleep late,working on it. Don’t lecture me now . Am not in mood. Why? Read along .

37 minutes ago

10:00:01 PM I don’t know what in the world is going on , Why ?

Hey! Just looook at the bed , the spread , the pillow  … Aah , That moment is not far away when I will close my eyes and  relax my butt on that very bed.  The pillow will be “one”  with my head and the heart will embrace bed. And I will forget what in the world is going on!

Aah , am so close..

Snap it! Adi is still playing with cars..
Me : Bed time Adi , take all your cars off the bed , into the box NOW.
Adi : Mummy pls , they want to race now. Laasst one. Plss.

 How long does it takes one race anyways. * remember this , very crucial *

Me: Okay .. Just ONE LAST race.

He lines up all his car ( blue , police car , yellow , red .. you get the drift ,am too tired to count)

10:05 PM Adi : But how can they race without tickets.

Me * looks at the clock ,settles down near the edge of bed , leaving the rest of bed for race*: Okay , Then get them tickets soon.
Adi picks up yellow car , drive it to me and “Mummy ,you will give the tickets”.
Me: Yellow car , here is your ticket.

Adi drives it back to the center of bed and places it next to red car. Brings in the red car. Drives down to edge of bed where am trying not to think about all those lucky fellows in dreamland.

Red  , here is your ticket. Adi drives back  , places it next to police car. Brings in the police car.

You know the feeling ?

With full stomach ,on bed ,literally. I mean am there..right there.. lying down already. Heavy eyes ,  dreamy already . GOSH ! am sooooo close to “sleep”. If only this race gets over…

Each sec counts and I can hear the tick-tock.

10:10 PM I gathered some strength , made a mental note of ” I can write a post about this , I mean why should I suffer alone!” and crawled to center of bed and issued each car with a ticket.

10:12 PM Me: Now start the race , get to finish line. Switch off the light and sleep! Have I asked too much?

10:12:03  PM My son is mad , mad because “Does air-planes race with cars? Why did you give him a ticket to race mummy!”

Where the hell is the that air-plane. Give me back my ticket. 

10:13 PM Then the blue taxi doesn’t want to race and wants to cuddle to Mummy. I moved back to my edge again along with blue taxi

Adi: but blue taxi wants to see the race.. sleep here.

10:15 PM Blue taxi and Mummy is positioned so can see the race. Let’s get on with damn race and sleep.

10:16 PM Mummy , cars need petrol to race. Pls fill tanks.

10:16:01  PM I wonder , why am I the one doing all chores . Is he gonna be a Project Manager? Just assigning tasks not  actually doing it himself ?

PM Eh ? Not bad .

Then I think of all office conversations “How awful that PM is ! “. Sign!
Phew ! I will still settle down PM for my son. They earn well , they can leave early too and he seems pretty good in handling the situation.

10:17 PM Adi : Mummy ! Petrol …..

10:20 PM All cars are filled.

10:21 PM Mummy is screaming “Start the race”. Almoooost there.

10:21:01 PM Adi : Mummy , police car doesn’t race .. Police cars race karte hai kya?

10:21:02 PM Me: That is exactly what I was wondering and also how wonderful would it be to sleep now. Am almost there . Just need to close eyes. I know am repeating these lines .. you see am almooooost there.

10:22 PM Race beings .

Red car aka Mc Queen had a tyre burst! Yellow car crashed , Green car tumbled twice in the crash debris. black car is flying around and orange truck isn’t racing coz it’s a pick up truck not race car silly!

10:23 PM God ,give me strength not to strangle my only son.” I want to sleep. 

10:25 PM Race is finished!
Adi : Mummy , Race is 2 laps!

10:25:01 PM WTF!

10:30 PM

zzzzzzzzzzzz

10:35 PM

I don’t know what happened in last 10 minutes , I assume I dozed off.
During which time blue taxi was crushed under my weight and Adi needs a doctor now to fix it up.

10:36 PM
Me (I decided , I haaave to sleep now) : Adi …

nevermind .. he never listens to me

Me  * to cars now*: All cars .. get into the box NOW. 

10:36:02 PM
Adi : Mummy , They are in lap 2 ..last race.

The race is proceeding ..

10:36:03 PM Hubby walks in.

Hubby: What’s this ? Why are you not in bed already ? Put all your cars in box.

10:36:03999999 PM Adi puts all cars in box. Cuddles with his father.

10:36:04 PM Hubby switch off lights. Both goes to sleep.

What’s just happened ??

After exactly 37 minutes ..

Am wide awake ; Motherly  hormones kicking in , wondering Why doesn’t he ever listens to me ?

Damn you cars , you fooled me!

 

 

Blogging 101 : Who am I and why do I blog

So on a whim , I “registered” for Blogging 101 , which is like a learning program for whoever wants to learn better in doing blog .  Eh , Sounds nice. Lemme try. 

So I register , got few email and now am feeling like am school again with assignment , madam , teacher , (virtual) classroom . OMG!

This is first assignment is to write a post about “Who am I and Why do I blog” .

Well , you want to read more on this topic , by all means! Pls read more! Be my guest.

After a while,

If you are  still reading this line , that means you wanna read more about first assignment. You didn’t go away! You are a wise man , my boy.

Imagine Tom Cruise on Oprah , jumping on couch and declaring his love for his lady love. Now replace him in your thoughts with me , jumping on couch and declaring my love for YOU Reader! Thank You , Thank You , Thank You .. (for reading such boring topic , I swear I would have turned away.)

Assignment is to answer few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

I will try to pass this test.  My experience in college taught me to cover only relevent topics to get passing marks, not to cover all questions.. Answer any 3 , I will pass.My time starts now.

EH , Before that , Who am I ? Read this

Why am I blogging ?

Because I want to remember stuffs/events in my life and access it easily when I forget password to my personal journal.

What do I write mostly?

Whatever comes to mind , but I stay away from serious topics ..the political ones. I love humor , comics . I think everyone should be comedian. Imagine a world full of good humor . The rest will prevail 🙂

I write about my travel time , but cannot write touristy ,  general stuff . I write about how I “felt” there , like Scandinavians are tall , Napoleon was rich and Assam is greatest places on earth.

I like my adventures with my son. I write about how bad I cook. I try to be comic , funny coz (as I already said) I love humor. My Reader list is humor. I have these crazy talks in my heart which my head denies , so I write down talk so head knows there are many more “heart” like mine.

In short , Food , Travel , Mummy and Crazy Talks.

I  think I should pass now and hence I rest my case.

Thanking for reading till end 🙂

PS : I love fish. If you want more “likes” on your post , blog .. just send me a kilo of fried fish twice a week and I guarantee service.

And then I became a mother …..!

Ummm, Why is it green in color ? Oh yes , it has Green Palak. The consistency looks good , not too watery or hard solid. The smell , hmm was good then, but now …

Could you guess the dish am inspecting … Palak panner or Green Thai curry ?

Palak paneer , ofcourse . Nothing beats an indian dish.

But.

After it has come to the end of it’s journey ,which is out of my son’s bum with rest of his potty.

Am happily inspecting his poop.

Head : ewww , yukky …potty from bum?

Yes, he says  “Potty comes out of bum” , I think its cute , so wont correct him ever!

So, How did this poop inspection began?

I sometimes look at my poop to see how does a healthy poop looks like , I look closely at his red color poop to see if its beetroot red or blood red .. or worst I might even someday be tempted…

Head : Stop ! I think you have made your point waaaaaaaay too clear about poop inspection!

I can never get tired of looking at it, inspecting it , Not until the day he is old enough to shut me out from poop inspection.

OMG! What have I become ??! 

Once upon a time!

Once upon a time , life was good ,mind and body balance. I had perfect set of hormones .

Head :C’on …Why blames hormones for this ?

Well, what else can explain how I , from a happy , normal person turned into this crazy , lame guilty mother.
Hormones , am sure of it ! plenty of it!

Head : Aha , Who was crying , whining for “I want a baby!”

That’s the first hormone , which pumps out saying “Lets have a baby!”. Now why can’t baby making be a simple procedure of “pressing a button” instead of drilling , leaking and aah , the pain !

Head: WHAT, pressing a button ?! Are you sure …

* louder*  Can you not imagine if it was just a button ?  WOMAN ! DO YOU NOT LIVE IN INDIA??? Don’t you have enough neighbor?

Alright , ummm… take a notch down ..Lets not get into detail, shall we..?

ma and you
This is the baby , now 3 years old .. I was whining for ❤

Anyways,

Bringing up a child, will completely change you , in every sense. You, your home and your life roadmap. Perhaps it’s result from the metathesis of hormones that a mother could do things never imagined capable of ……She will have all the patience of galaxy loaded with all the guilt of milky way….am never doing enough.
I should have finished this early and go home to co-conspirator and his cute son!

Head : So , husband is conspirator  ? What did he do ? You were the one crying….
Of course , husband is responsible for getting me into this , for supporting me in everything .. in sun or rain , drilling and pain!
Why didn’t he tell me that I would change so much that my lungs will pump blood !

Head : The word is oxygen sweetie , Your lung cannot pump blood.
Just raise a child and well , lung will be so busy pumping , that it doesn’t matter what the hell is being pumped – just pump oxygen or blood.. Heart is over-whelmed , nervous , confused and hyperventilating from all cuteness and responsibility around .. that it can’t pump enough.

Change is inevitable and motherhood is a crazy change in lifestyle.

Before you realize , you are anticipating his poop to be of perfect size consistency , more than what you expect your new blouse to fit in.

Head : poop again! , snap out of it ,will you ?

Okay. Point noted. No more poop talk.

Can we talk about fart ?

Adi, my son is a parrot , repeats after me all the time , so no cuss words and can’t even call stupidest things stupid in front of him. But one thing I learned hard way- Do NOT ever ever ever do what you don’t want him to do in public.

For instance….

Don’t pick your nose , that’s gross. ultra gross.

And

Don’t fart …..Pleassse.

Head : Weren’t you the one who taught him BOTH at the first place???

well, Of course he learned it all eventually, from the only one time I tried to pick his nose ..

In my defense , I was cleaning his running nose before going to bed so he can sleep better and his fingers are more suited than mine .. Believe me, I have balloon fingers and am lazy to get up for hanky!

Head : WTH! You practically led his hands into nose and showed him to pick the .. and were even proud about it!

Hell Yes! I have tried to teach him many other things approved by civilized society , but he never ever learns those in one shot. This ..nose picking. How the hell would I know that he will master it in one night ?

So that’s the thing , when I least want son to notice , he will put all his focus in that and sometimes even when am blowing drum in front of him ,would ignore. Hide something I wish Adi never ever finds out and he gets it the next minute.You think you were discreet enough , fast like bolt? Too late , he saw it already it, labelled it as “Mummy doesn’t want me to see” and added it to must-be-good check-it-out list.

Head : and what about farting ….

What about it ? C’on that’s human , At least , I taught him to say Sorry! He farts , we laugh , giggle and say out loud Sorrrrrrrryyyyy ! That counts as bonding time between mother and son?
In my defense ,this I believe must be those uncivilized hormones talking which were suppressed since beginning of no-fart-in-public civilization!

What else ?

I can easily sustain prolong exposure to insanity , doing the same thing over and over again without flinching.
Adi : Mummy , This is your green car , this is my red car.Lets race !

After 30 minutes:

Adi: Mummy * utho na, wake up * This is your green car , this is my red car.Lets race !

I could do things without actually doing it , at least I didn’t realize my hands are racing again with green car.. I stopped noticing ..It is a routine hands know very well , why do I need to focus my head there ..

carslinedup
Boy in action!

OMG , am I a zombie now?

I can play car race , howl like wolf , roar like lions and be a big bad dino for an hour straight without even noticing that am actually a human.
I have lost so many races,fights to him that now I can win race for slowest contender! I earn his laughter.
Everything in my head begins with “Start your engine” and ends with ” Yay!Adi first !”.

Need for speed , Turbo , Bolt Lighting Mc Queen .. definitely triggers something in me when am on my red swish scooter , managing a speed of just 40 miles and I accelerate.. think speed , think 238 miles or worst think crash!

My cars want bed
He wanted his cars on bed with him, so made this pillow garage on bed! We removed it in night and first thing he notice waking up is “Mere car kidhar hai” …Where is my car,bus…

Adi is a typical 3 year old boy , In love with car , bike , trucks , animals …big animals, Dino ! If he were a girl, I guess I would be playing dolls for an hour straight .. umm…., that would have been nice . at least its just sitting at one place not crashing , running around.

Head : Do you want another …..bwwwaah ..second could be a girl.

I will ignore that comment from head.. He shuts down when all game begins..sees no use in doing routine, feels no pain.

Head : He ??! louder Why am I male ? am your head, inside you on top floor woman ! picture me as super hot sexy model , female !

Ignore that one too , how can my head ALONE be super sexy when the rest after child delivery could not go back to its glorious days of size S.

Ignoring and moving ahead ..

Am hypnotized by my 3 year old son…

I love his voice , he has cutest voice of a 3 year old. But nobody was there to tell me this .. I suffered , am still suffering.
Do not, I repeat Do NOT go by the voice , listen to what he is saying..try avoid to look into eyes.. The cuteness is a way of hypnotize mother!! I know , I am.. am completely mesmerized when he asks he something with those eyes and that voice , and I turn stupid ..

In my experience, these are the 2 words  to look out for warning signals..

  1. Baad main = Later.

This is even more powerful than legendary “No” . He isn’t refusing to do , he is simply delaying… and that later never comes!
Me : Adi , Its time for homework.
Adi : Mummy baad mein

Me : Adi , dinner time.
Adi : baad mein , now playtime.

  1. “Last one”

He is not asking for more , he is only asking for the last one..
Adi : Mummy I want chocolate.
Me : Adi , you just had one before meal.
Adi : Mummy , one last . Just last one…

Now when he says this , my heart is overloaded and lungs start pumping.
Head : hmm and you oblige by giving him last chocolate the nth time..?

In my defence , am hypnotised by his voice , by his eyes , by his demand! Just because he is such a darling ❤ and am such lame 😦

I wonder if he will ever use these words in right way ever?

Me : Adi , Do you want chocolate?
Adi : No Mummy baad mein…

I often wonder , discuss it with husband .. Does he know the effect of his cuteness on me ? What should I name this one hormone?

Head : i-am-moron hormone ??? 

Excitement

As a mother , the one compliant which is omnipresent – My son isn’t eating enough. Am not just saying .. I know for fact.. he doesn’t. Food is not important in life of a 3 year old. What can you do?

Something which sometimes work .. is fake it , you show you love it , he will follow the suit! My kid love all pomp pomp , announcement and declaration of love!

So food is not just food , but with a 100 watts excitement , “wow, aaj ka nashta pasta“. Pasta got his attention , at least I will have successful breakfast!
You can find me like a jumping fox with a plate of just plain rice and dal. Every meal should be a discovery , exciting , else son has no interest in what otherwise is very important for living , next only to breathing..

One of these days I forget “not” to be excited and
Me : Sweetie , * with 100 volts excitement and all white* Your favorite breakfast – Poha and chai!
Husband : Sweetie , Its the same old dish my mother made and her mother before that and ..perhaps goes back to the time of Adam Eve! Whats so exciting??

Am lame , but at least am excited about being lame 😉

Well , there are some good things too ..

My general knowledge has increased two folds , I know all kinds of truck types and cars… I know 5 wild animals and 5 domestic animals , know all the good habits. Do you know all the poems in the world , one where humpty fell down , or bus goes around or clap clap clap ?

I can sleep with eyes open , when it’s my nap time and his play time !
Now I now … know-thee-all hormone.

There is always a trick up his sleeve..put him in any place , he is never bored , will find something amusing.
He will do things with perfection – open the jar , take a chocolate and close it tight. My usual steps are – Open the jar , take a chocolate and full stop.
Just when I realize that my son could play independently and I could do other things , comes the phase of Q&A’s – Why series…

Adi : Mummy what are you doing ?
Me : cleaning the floor.
Adi : Why are you cleaning the floor?
Me : because its dirty.
Adi : Why is it dirty ?
Me : coz I spilled water.
Adi : Why did you spill water?
Me : I wasnt looking straight and the glass of water fell….. * Here I restrain myself from using any cuss words
Adi: Why were you not looking straight.
Me : Because I was looking at TV.
Adi :Why were….
Me :Sending SOS signals to husband* Sweetie .. help me!

Sometimes I wonder if he even interested in my answers , or just picks up words , add a What or why and create the next question.
some days its “what will happen” series – Mummy what will happen if I eat chocolate , if I don’t bath , If I throw …

My housemaid is starting to avoid my son when he gets into Q&A mode…I cant do that..Can I ?

My perspective changed, am not the same …

Now an ant , isn’t just an ant doing the hard work and let it do the hard work. Smash! It’s a bloody ant , can bite Adi and must be killed!
I can laugh over silly things , coz his laugh is infectious , it spreads even when he isn’t around. Be excited about stupid things. A dog isn’t just a dog but “Mummy Cute dog na”? Everything is cute in his world.

Love hormone

Now this is the deadliest one , coz this will makes my son look like the cutest smartest , handsome with a million dollar smile , twinkle in eye 3-year-old boy living on planet earth. And when love hormone is released ,he can absolutely demand and say anything and I will oblige.


Head : This is happening way too frequently these days .. control your senses. How can you give him chocolate when he hasn’t finished his homework.
Did you see his eyes when he was asking for chocolates ? Do you know how much he makes me happy just being him .. jumping , screaming , running , smiling ..laughing and asking for chocolate?
My son will have chocolate !

And with that all the hormones are released in my body!