Happy Ramzan…

Happy Ramzan.

We are introducing my almost 5-year-old son to the holy month of Ramzan this year. He knows other festivals of India – won’t stop saying “Ganapati bappa moria” much to my embarrassment in front of my Muslim in-laws.He knows that Diwali is the time for diya, rangoli and crackers and Holi is all about colors and water.

He can even recognize Santa Claus and won’t stop singing Jingle bell, jingle bell – again to my embarrassment. By the way, I don’t know why am embarrassed. my in-laws are lovely people. 

So we told him that this is the holiest month and he has to be a good boy. Sharing, caring and helping others.I write down all his good deeds in a diary daily and will show it to the Almighty Allah at the end of the month on Eid. If he finishes his meal, that counts too.

And in return, Allah will give him a gift on Eid. A big wonderful gift. A super-cool gift. It could be a supercar or a giant dinosaur. It could even be the spiderman figurine. How wonderful is that?

And the same goes for all of us. We get a nice gift if we behave well.

So this is how it goes at my home now…

“Mummy, what if Allah sleeps before I finish my meal, he wouldn’t know?” Allah, if you are listening, Aadil usual dinner time is 8-9 PM. Please do not sleep before 9. Nevertheless, I have the diary.

“What if Allah runs out of the gift and none is left for me ?” OMG! That would be scandalous..for all the pain the boy has taken in the month. 

“Mummy, You are shouting – you will not get any gift.”  Allah- You are all knowing and wise, you made me shout/scream… I did not. I deserve the gift.

“Papa, you are not playing with me – you will not get any gift.” Yes (raised fist) That will serve him right Allah, no gift for him.

All in all, am happy with the way Ramzan is going and I can’t wait to see the big smile on his face on the day of Eid when he gets his present (from Allah.)

Happy Ramzan everyone! I hope you may all celebrate this holy month by sharing, caring, and helping.

4 years 4 month
This was the pic taken when he turned 4 years, 4 month and 4 days, when we celebrated his Bismillah ceremony. I was so nervous that he is not gonna repeat the verses read out to him, but he did! Without any fuss, he sat through it and made be really proud that day.

A compliment is a compliment

..no matter who, how, when and what the exact words are…

Son never ever wants his father to wash his bum after potty. Yes, wash bum, we Indians, I have to say proudly, wash our bum with water after the poo. Wiping is not our way. A wipe will never do for us. Nope sir, no, nahi, Wipe? I mean, I cannot fathom how does that is called a clean bum.

Nevermind, don’t tell me.

How is all this related to a compliment?

Patience is a virtue and am getting there. Read on. I have a feeble mind, get’s high with just any good words coming my way.

Son always wants me during his potty time. It’s a sort of compliment for a mother but not for this post.

Yesterday, as usual, he was busy prattling when sitting on the commode, I asked why he won’t let his papa wash his bum, why only me?

Because, mummy, you are thin and slim like my POTTY. 

And, here comes the blush!

Wait, he compared me to potty? Ewwwww! Yuk!

Hey, wait, he said – thin and slim. Lemme highlight that – thin and slim.

That’s my boy! I can wash his bum forever, and ever, and ever.

 

Son , THAT is not what I meant.

Location : Assam – mountain , rain ,  waterfall.

Me : Adi , Look that is waterfall .. see how water is falling down ..waterfall.

Location : Tamini Ghat , again – mountain , rain ,  waterfall.

Me : Adi , yaad hai  (Remember this ?) a waterfall . Isn’t it lovely?

Location : Morning at Home  , Adi woke up with a full bladder.

Adi ( in the bathroom , naughty smile ) : Mummy , mummy Look waterfall !

Calvin peeing
Yes , this is Calvin peeing , expression reminded me of my Son showing his “waterfall” Image courtesy – Google.

 

Nope , nope , nope , no , no , no son ..nahi!

THAT ! is not what I meant!

Yes son , you are so yummy , I ate you!

 

14th August,2012

I saw him first , 4 years ago. My first feeling  “Why is he so tiny? Doc said he will be above 3 kilos. Look at his nose , his eyes , he looks like my papa!” and I was hooked.

Ever since then, I haven’t stopped loving him , falling head over heels with this little man every single day. The kind of love I have for him , actually surprise me. That am capable of loving someone so much. And the best part is I get love in return,so much more than I could imagine. The little man loves me , adores me , lights me up with his voice. He does everything right , at least to me. Believe it or not , a mother can feel , actually literally feel her child’s physical pain. I did for , possibly first two years. And stopped only after he started faking his pain to mess with me , or to get attention ,or just to be naughty.

Every year , I tell myself “Oh this is the best phase, I wish he would never grow out of this (phase). ” And he amazes me with his next milestone.

Yesterday, a day before he turned 4 , he finished his rice plate himself, on his own . The waiter at biryani house gave him a plate ,a little spoon and he started eating himself. Before I could help , which I do usually, my husband shushed me and I watched him use a spoon and eat rice-biryani , from the corner of my eyes , heart thumping in excitement (I swear these motherly hormones behave crazily stupid someday , what is so exciting ? he is only eating rice with spoon???!) . Well , that was just once but it is a start.

We celebrated his 4th birthday today ,on 14th Aug , aka the day I meant to publish this post. Happy Birthday, Son <3. I will always love you. I cannot help , but love you all my life.

His take on turning 4 ” So am I as big as papa now?

So , now to come back to the title of this post. 

Me: Happy Birthday Adi , wow you are a big 4-year old now!

Adi : Why ?

Really ?! “why” that is the response..? The perpetual stream of “Why”  from kid these days!. 

Me : Because , 4 years ago, you were born from my tummy son.

Adi :  Kyoun ? Aap mujhe kha gaye the kya mummy? Mummy , Did you eat me up ?

Ahem , ahem, So how he ended up in my tummy at first place! Good question.

Me (Hugging him tightly) : Yes , You are very very yummy Adi , so I ate you 🙂 , And now am gonna eat you again ……..

2016-08-16 12.57.54
He refuses to pose for the camera  , this pic was taken a few months ago and the best one I have. Believe it or not , he is the love of my life and I don’t even have a proper pic to share.

When God wants , he just wants . He is quite stubborn that way!

The plan was great.. Sort of foolproof.

It was simple and it was based on facts , truth , stories and folklore and human behavior.

Husband and I , are made  for each other. And also  made of bones   lazy bones and flesh. If we could have our way , I will be reading , sleeping and fishing all day , all year long and he would , well (pause) , he would never ever even lift his finger.

PS : If you would ask him , he, of course, would deny , but remember you are my friend , not his. Whom would you trust ? Me or Him? If you said Him , Congratulations! You made it to my send-hitmen-to-hit list!

Moving ahead,

Like I said. We had planned it well. I always wanted a child. One who would be ours. My eyes , definitely my nose and his voice (only) . He will grow up to be a smart , handsome and very very resourceful boy.

Scene 1 : Me and husband watching TV , Need to change the channel , but remote is on the table at the far corner.

Me : Adi , Pass me that remote .

Adi will run , the boy wanna impress me with his speed. He will feel proud that I asked him something. He will rush , bring me the remote and I can see accomplishment in his eyes. Husband and I will clap Good Boy and hail him hero!

Doesn’t all 4-year-old love that? No kidding ! That is a fact.

Haven’t you ever asked any kid to open a water bottle? He will do it with pleasure.  And with more than one 4-year-old , there is a possibility of a riot, each vying for my attention and bring me my desire.

Scene 2 : Am reading , the window is open and the breeze is cool. I feel cold. Perhaps one should switch off the fan.hmm , I wonder who could help me with that?

Adi will run and boy !Am impressed …My Bolt.

This is his one growing phase  , I wish he would never grow out. I wish and it is my husband’s wish too. He is just waiting for the time when he can ask him to bring remote , water bottle , handle switches blah blah blah.

Meanwhile , up above the sky , God was listening. He understood us. He knew what we wanted. He had the exact kid in mind. He was happy to send him to us and we were thrilled to receive him!

Now the Reality.

Scene 2 : Am reading , the window is open and the breeze is cool. I feel cold. Perhaps one should switch off the fan.hmm , I wonder who could help me with that?

Me : Adi, please switch off the fan.

Adi who is playing just a hand away from fan switch , just few inches away  will look up and .

Adi (with curious eyes) : Why mummy ?

Me : coz its cold.

Adi ( with more curiosity): Why is it, cold mummy ?

Me : coz it’s breezy . The window is open. See kitni achi hawa

Adi (with the look of wtf) : Why is the window open?

Me : Coz I left it open? (I hope that will shut him up)

Adi (then it is clearly not my problem look) : Why did you leave it open ?

Me : I did not , but then if you would just reach out .. it is one in the middle.

Adi ( Are you insane) : But you just said you did. Why did you say so?

Me ( Did I say that ? ) : Ahem ahem .. I did say that because I thought ….that .. now it is the one in the middle. It is very breezy .. if you would just.

Adi (I have to get to the bottom of this issue) : What were you thinking mummy ?

….

After 10 minutes and 100 questions later .

I get up and switch off the fan. Yes , the one in the middle.

Meanwhile , up above the sky , God is feeling slightly more proud than he should be. If you ask me !

Thatsmyboy

 

 

How did scene 1 end in reality ? Don’t even get me started unless you are home and am watching TV and I need YOU to pass remote …

Grrrrrrr God ,

wehadadeal

 

PS: All images from google image search. Thank you letting me use!

I want twins …..sure?

2012:

We want twins . We always wanted twins. I have to do something may be eat 2 banana, eat 2 chapati .. everything in multiplication of 2.

Shall we ask doctor if it’s possible somehow ?

I read somewhere women who conceive after certain age are most likely to have twins. Shall we postpone ?

Oh , How I wish I have twins! Let’s check out cloning?

Me : Why can’t you teach your swimmers to join hands and end up in a draw ! .. I  really really wanna have twins..

Iwannatwins

 

But Alas , Life is not a freaking wish granting factory!

Doc , Are you sure .. look closely ..their might be another egg and sperm trying out ?

My sister has twins

Am so happy , at least someone has twins…she is so lucky!

sheislucky

My sister comes home with her year old twins named L and K

L sleeps at 2000 , K at 2300. L wakes up at 600  and K at 1000. Each child takes turn to wake up every 2 hours.

L likes cerelac for breakfast , K likes his meal less mushy. Two breakfasts.

L is playing with red car. K wants the very same red car at the very same moment. One screams , other is crazily happy seeing bro scream!

L pees , then K pees and then L poos and then K poos. And then L needs to pee again. And then it is bath time , one after another.

K is playing with his favorite toy when L wants mommy. Then contagiously K also wants mommy. Mommy wants to pee but who cares!

After  2 days , sister goes back with her twins.

Me , husband finally : Yay ! We do not have twins! 

thankgod
Google.

“Bach gaye”!

 

One word inspiration ,Never do it empty stomach.

(Feeling inspired , thinking head and  jumping heart )

That was awesome .. ? I think it is a wonderful idea..

Yeah , Yes.. We should totally do it.

Define a word that would be my North Star  for 2016. Am thinking…………

Sleep. 

Head : What ? How could you come up with that word. one word , just (louder) ONE word  , you lazy lazy bum …ONE word to be your torch for 2016 , that you would embrace completely , love deeply , stick by it  and the first word you choose is ( insulting pause ) S-L-E-E-P .  

You are not my heart anymore!

Like it or not , am sticking around.  Can’t you see? We both looooove sleeping . Why not make it  official!

Any trouble in life , just sleep it off. This too shall pass while you dream on your cozy bed , with you, my dear head resting on pillow.

Head: Thinking is my job , stupid heart.  Lemme do it. Quietly.

Hmm , Okay.

After a minute .

Here is another one. Chicken.

Ta-da!

Head: (fumes coming out of one ear ) Aha, Chicken , hmm? Exactly ,How does that inspire you ? When do you ever hear anyone say let’s do it like chicken … Let’s be like chicken ? Chicken is born to die .. remember , it’s bred only for recipe .

C’on .Chicken is inspiration .We go extra miles for that one joint in other part of city famous for chicken biryani! How can you forget Afgani chicken kebabs..

Head : (fumes coming out of both the ears and a bit of nose )Did you even get what the post means? What it means to have a word as torch for 2016.

(murmuring) Well .. chicken fits. Its a light .. a  guiding torch , guiding us to that biryani wala .

Head: (fuming) We need a word which is like #growing 

After a minute .

Oh wait. Here is another one..

Head (interrupting  harshly) : Not FISH!  That doesn’t qualify either. What is wrong with you .. Food is your inspiration ? Think Verb .. think action.

(murmuring) Sleeping qualifies as verb , and you are thinking now at dinner time rather than eating ….food. I can only see chicken and fish floating around me now .

Head is in complete state of meditation , thinking , occasionally a sound , a murmur  , sometimes yapping  : A word for me ….. to help me  …inspiration….

After dinner.

I could see chicken and fish cannot be inspiration for 2016! That was my empty stomach talking before dinner. Now stomach is sleeping , head is still searching for word… yapping…

My 3 year old boy walks in, comes straight to my lap , face towards me … his little arms wrapped around my neck.. 

Adi : Mummy , let’s play the game happy face , angry face.

(Presses my right cheek) c’on , show me happy face, (presses again) abhi gussa(= now angry face). Wiggles his nose to get his angry look , giggles with laughter for happy face.

Head and Heart , both measuring his immeasurable cuteness..

One word.  Son.

Will get me through , any or everything .. when he has his arms around my neck .

PS :  This post is Blogging 101 assignment , to write a post inspired by other post.

In reality , though I agree with Safari Girl, I could not think of anything more inspiring for me than my own family and especially my son. A bit bore ending , humorless than originally intended. Nevertheless ..  am still measuring his cuteness..

 

 

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge, Day 1!

Thank you nerdsakshi and  pranabaxom for giving me this challenge.

I could not start it sooner , coz my sister with her a year old twin boy were visiting us and my favorite quote for the whole time was “Which one (of the twins) woke up” .. Sssh!

Twins, I tell you . Both a year old , same age 😉 , I tell you . both boys , Boy! Do I really need to tell you 🙂

Anyways ..Challenge accepted. It didn’t come with any expiry time.. So I assume am not out of race and can bore you with one quote a day I like..

Challenge Rules:

  • Post three consecutive days.
  • You can pick one or three quotes per day.
  • Challenge three different bloggers per day

Now , the quote. 

Being a mother is like flowing in hormones of awe , happy , sad , OMG! , oops , that hurts , am-gonna-cry , go-to-hell-that-boy-beating-my-boy , keep calm , have mercy , GOD -where-are-you , Husband-where-are-you ,  …blah blah blah ..

BUT finally I have found Nirvana with “Finding Nemo” and I remember this always when am dealing with my hormones and son.

Marlin: I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.

Dory: Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise.

Marlin: What?

Dory:  Well you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.

My nominees are

  1. Jake
  2. Lucky 
  3. SimpleDimple

PS: I should probably tell these persons of challenge  , or NOT. That way .. they may not come across this crucial missing piece of information to win the challenge that am challenging them and may not quote anything and I may win this!

What’s the prize money to win this challenge , I need to ask nerd and prana?

 

 

Last race and am too sleepy to decide on title..so will leave it

Time to sleep.

For most of us. Some are more blessed then me. than  or then ? Mwaaah..

10:37 PM Isn’t it late ?Yeah we sleep late,working on it. Don’t lecture me now . Am not in mood. Why? Read along .

37 minutes ago

10:00:01 PM I don’t know what in the world is going on , Why ?

Hey! Just looook at the bed , the spread , the pillow  … Aah , That moment is not far away when I will close my eyes and  relax my butt on that very bed.  The pillow will be “one”  with my head and the heart will embrace bed. And I will forget what in the world is going on!

Aah , am so close..

Snap it! Adi is still playing with cars..
Me : Bed time Adi , take all your cars off the bed , into the box NOW.
Adi : Mummy pls , they want to race now. Laasst one. Plss.

 How long does it takes one race anyways. * remember this , very crucial *

Me: Okay .. Just ONE LAST race.

He lines up all his car ( blue , police car , yellow , red .. you get the drift ,am too tired to count)

10:05 PM Adi : But how can they race without tickets.

Me * looks at the clock ,settles down near the edge of bed , leaving the rest of bed for race*: Okay , Then get them tickets soon.
Adi picks up yellow car , drive it to me and “Mummy ,you will give the tickets”.
Me: Yellow car , here is your ticket.

Adi drives it back to the center of bed and places it next to red car. Brings in the red car. Drives down to edge of bed where am trying not to think about all those lucky fellows in dreamland.

Red  , here is your ticket. Adi drives back  , places it next to police car. Brings in the police car.

You know the feeling ?

With full stomach ,on bed ,literally. I mean am there..right there.. lying down already. Heavy eyes ,  dreamy already . GOSH ! am sooooo close to “sleep”. If only this race gets over…

Each sec counts and I can hear the tick-tock.

10:10 PM I gathered some strength , made a mental note of ” I can write a post about this , I mean why should I suffer alone!” and crawled to center of bed and issued each car with a ticket.

10:12 PM Me: Now start the race , get to finish line. Switch off the light and sleep! Have I asked too much?

10:12:03  PM My son is mad , mad because “Does air-planes race with cars? Why did you give him a ticket to race mummy!”

Where the hell is the that air-plane. Give me back my ticket. 

10:13 PM Then the blue taxi doesn’t want to race and wants to cuddle to Mummy. I moved back to my edge again along with blue taxi

Adi: but blue taxi wants to see the race.. sleep here.

10:15 PM Blue taxi and Mummy is positioned so can see the race. Let’s get on with damn race and sleep.

10:16 PM Mummy , cars need petrol to race. Pls fill tanks.

10:16:01  PM I wonder , why am I the one doing all chores . Is he gonna be a Project Manager? Just assigning tasks not  actually doing it himself ?

PM Eh ? Not bad .

Then I think of all office conversations “How awful that PM is ! “. Sign!
Phew ! I will still settle down PM for my son. They earn well , they can leave early too and he seems pretty good in handling the situation.

10:17 PM Adi : Mummy ! Petrol …..

10:20 PM All cars are filled.

10:21 PM Mummy is screaming “Start the race”. Almoooost there.

10:21:01 PM Adi : Mummy , police car doesn’t race .. Police cars race karte hai kya?

10:21:02 PM Me: That is exactly what I was wondering and also how wonderful would it be to sleep now. Am almost there . Just need to close eyes. I know am repeating these lines .. you see am almooooost there.

10:22 PM Race beings .

Red car aka Mc Queen had a tyre burst! Yellow car crashed , Green car tumbled twice in the crash debris. black car is flying around and orange truck isn’t racing coz it’s a pick up truck not race car silly!

10:23 PM God ,give me strength not to strangle my only son.” I want to sleep. 

10:25 PM Race is finished!
Adi : Mummy , Race is 2 laps!

10:25:01 PM WTF!

10:30 PM

zzzzzzzzzzzz

10:35 PM

I don’t know what happened in last 10 minutes , I assume I dozed off.
During which time blue taxi was crushed under my weight and Adi needs a doctor now to fix it up.

10:36 PM
Me (I decided , I haaave to sleep now) : Adi …

nevermind .. he never listens to me

Me  * to cars now*: All cars .. get into the box NOW. 

10:36:02 PM
Adi : Mummy , They are in lap 2 ..last race.

The race is proceeding ..

10:36:03 PM Hubby walks in.

Hubby: What’s this ? Why are you not in bed already ? Put all your cars in box.

10:36:03999999 PM Adi puts all cars in box. Cuddles with his father.

10:36:04 PM Hubby switch off lights. Both goes to sleep.

What’s just happened ??

After exactly 37 minutes ..

Am wide awake ; Motherly  hormones kicking in , wondering Why doesn’t he ever listens to me ?

Damn you cars , you fooled me!

 

 

Blogging 101 : Who am I and why do I blog

So on a whim , I “registered” for Blogging 101 , which is like a learning program for whoever wants to learn better in doing blog .  Eh , Sounds nice. Lemme try. 

So I register , got few email and now am feeling like am school again with assignment , madam , teacher , (virtual) classroom . OMG!

This is first assignment is to write a post about “Who am I and Why do I blog” .

Well , you want to read more on this topic , by all means! Pls read more! Be my guest.

After a while,

If you are  still reading this line , that means you wanna read more about first assignment. You didn’t go away! You are a wise man , my boy.

Imagine Tom Cruise on Oprah , jumping on couch and declaring his love for his lady love. Now replace him in your thoughts with me , jumping on couch and declaring my love for YOU Reader! Thank You , Thank You , Thank You .. (for reading such boring topic , I swear I would have turned away.)

Assignment is to answer few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

I will try to pass this test.  My experience in college taught me to cover only relevent topics to get passing marks, not to cover all questions.. Answer any 3 , I will pass.My time starts now.

EH , Before that , Who am I ? Read this

Why am I blogging ?

Because I want to remember stuffs/events in my life and access it easily when I forget password to my personal journal.

What do I write mostly?

Whatever comes to mind , but I stay away from serious topics ..the political ones. I love humor , comics . I think everyone should be comedian. Imagine a world full of good humor . The rest will prevail 🙂

I write about my travel time , but cannot write touristy ,  general stuff . I write about how I “felt” there , like Scandinavians are tall , Napoleon was rich and Assam is greatest places on earth.

I like my adventures with my son. I write about how bad I cook. I try to be comic , funny coz (as I already said) I love humor. My Reader list is humor. I have these crazy talks in my heart which my head denies , so I write down talk so head knows there are many more “heart” like mine.

In short , Food , Travel , Mummy and Crazy Talks.

I  think I should pass now and hence I rest my case.

Thanking for reading till end 🙂

PS : I love fish. If you want more “likes” on your post , blog .. just send me a kilo of fried fish twice a week and I guarantee service.