How to spend 10 minutes, rather waste 10, & then another 30 blogging about it.

At the office, my colleague AbhiSwami started an online chat with three of us. Him, me and SatyaSwami.

AbhiSwami  : Hi

SatyaSwami: Hi

Me                  : Hello

AbhiSwami  : Can we meet now to discuss the issue ..blah-blah-blah?

Me                      : sure, now?

SatyaSwami  : Give me 10 minutes.

AbhiSwami  : Ok

Me  My Head:

“Give me 10 minutes” *pondering*, So what exactly is SatyaSwami implying?

Is it that to discuss the issue, he demand that both of us give him 10 minutes of (stress on next word) OUR  time ( I capitalized it just so you see where am going)  which will yield HIM 20 minutes of …..time, to be precise, my time. Did you see what he is doing? Blackmail ..In clear text, in broad daylight, at office?!? WTH SatyaSwami!

Chill lady head! 

That could be the beginning of something fun. Hey! I have 20 minutes, got it from my colleagues.Sounds like you have wonderful colleagues…. 

Yes!

So now that it is implied that AbhiSwami will give him his next 10 minutes, how will he give him that? Stand next to him. Sleep for next 10 minutes, so that SatyaSwami can do whatever he wanted to do without his colleague hovering over his shoulder “Take my 10 minutes”. Should I go join AbhiSwami *realizing he doesn’t know all this yet, certainly this is in my head*, Should I tell him Let’s go and give our time to SatyaSwami? He asked for it “Give me 10 minutes” and it is certainly no blackmail. I have pondered.

Interesting, So is “time” a commodity now?  How shall I order it? Boy! Give me a cord, a butter   butcher  butter knife, a hand glove, 100mg chloroform, a big gunny sack …. and a pack of 30 minutes?

*Pondering* What shall I do with this extra time and all the stuff along in my order?

Well, certainly if anyone gives me 30 minutes,  You would find me on the bed under the quilt, in the morning, sleeping! I will keep the rest of the stuff in the gunny bag.  What were you thinking? chloroform might comes handy at a time when the kid wouldn’t shut his eyes and my eyes won’t remain open!

Would AbhiSwami give me 10 minutes, if I ask? He seems content to give SatyaSwami…no complaint, no question asked. Just “Ok”.

More of blah blah blah…

After 10 minutes,

SatyaSwami pinged and we proceeded to discuss the issue.

The Epiphany.

Aha! So, That’s how I gave my time when he asked: “Give me 10 minutes”.But he didn’t take it… What a waste of time. 

Now, The Epiphany 2.

And after, another 30 or so minutes of writing this.

*Me, Growling* SatyaSwami – YOU OWN ME 40 MINUTES !

Image source – pixabay. check pixabay , great , free pictures.

Coming back to work , after a heavy lunch at a fine-dine restaurant , on a Friday  , sponsored by the office , I learned a great deal about human anatomy.

When stomach is full up to the brim  , brain stops functioning.

Mind is in trance and human body is capable of sleep walker-talker-worker.

Would you say Zombie – Stage 1 ??

Bmuuwaaah My Reign of Terror !

One-to-one meeting with my Project Manager at work about my work , feedback , general stuffs but no appraisal,no hike  yet..

Wait , did I say No appraisal ? Then Why the hell am I in this meeting?

The conversation

Manager : Himadri , we are very happy with your work.

Me (feeling excited within , but act cool ):  Thank you.

Manager : But here are some feedback from your colleagues and this is just perspective .

Me ( Grrrrrr give me the name and address , I have murder streak somedays and I can fix this issues on those days..) Yup , am listening.

Manager : S said there might be some folks in our team who are afraid to approach you.

Me ( Grrrrr , Grrr) : Okay.

Me  in my head : Did he said afraid ?

Manager : I know you say what you want to say and do blah blah , but some of the folks see the open discussion as threat .. blah blah blah .. hesitate …. too open .. blah ..blah.. afraid to approach you blah blah blah ..

I was still at contemplating “afraid of ME” and manager was already in second half of the story ..

My Reign of terror

Afraid of me , WOW so people are terrified of me! afraid of me . I have my own subjects who are afraid of me , hesitate to talk to me , come and work with me everyday but are terrified me ! My own “Reign of Terror” .

So that is the reason M never looks up to me when I speak to him . He just keeps looking at the monitor and says “Yes , you did break your laptop ! Thrice! I saw it with my own eyes”! Reason for why A never ever tries to question me saying How can I ask Architect to … N, never ever utter a word in my presence , just smile and agree with whatever I say. This is a good approach , never upset me , might bite you 😀

I  should know the names , a list of names, definitely. Imagine the possibility I have now in my hands. I have established , worked my way up to terrorize people , to make them feel threatened and now its reap time.

My evil self is popping his head every sec now “why the hell are you doing this yourself , you have a stream of people ready to do anything less I Bmummmmwaaah them into sand!”

List to do

  • I could use my “terror” to make people do things annoyingly stupid , just below my grey cells to do .. like filling up time sheet every freaking friday.  My brain is so powerful to multi task , that you seriously cannot categorize it as “Did Project X from 1030 to 1130” . I can multitask , can do hundreds of things .. So while this “afraid” team member of mine fills the time sheet , my brain can complete another task in hand .. like choosing the handbag  from ebay.
  •  Print outs ,  Should I waste my enormous energy to “fix” printer ? The printer really knows how to teach us the road paper travels through its interiors to give us final out. It says Tray A is jammed , then B is jammed so on and so forth.  You fix the jam , you are rewarded with the final print and the knowledge that the printer has A B C D trays ! It’s time for the afraid guy to know the trays of printer! Or better yet , can I terrorize printer a machine?
  •  A cup of coffee on my desk before I start my work is must and who is better to do then “not me self” but ” that shivering afraid guy “! Second thoughts-  Coffee is the time when I establish my reign, spread it, recruit more “afraid” people.. I have to do this task myself! Strike this off list.
  • Have you ever ever filled documents for VISA . The Swedes wants to know my family tree .They have a document to fill in all details of each of your family member. Then there are plenty more document to submit. Hmm , lemme pick one of my afraid subject to do this stupid task.

As days will pass, the list and my terror should increase to the level that I just have to utter a word and thing will be done. I already feel like am a big body builder with enormous muscle power , huge eyes and a gigantic roaring voice and rest of the world is shivering quivering afraid people from Lilliput..

Boo!


PS : Are you afraid of me ? Not yet ? Bwaaaaahhh … Now ?

PPS : If you are my friend I can actually ask my “afraid” subjects to do your task ! Perk to be the one with boss 🙂