Tonight is gonna be a long night….and why am I tip-toeing since morning..

My office moved to a new building a few months back. Bright and shiny, it’s awesome.

It has a library. How cool is that!

Being in India, the last time I walked into a library was ……Meh, I can’t even recall. We have very few libraries here, But then, this is India. It has a thousand others way to tell stories.

Back to today, to my new bright and shiny office.

I was curious, On the first day, when I had visited the space defined as the library, it was bare-shelf, cartons lying around oozing books! Today books were on the shelf.

And I peeked. I looked. I turned pages. I scrolled through. I smelled ūüėć

And there it was, a tad bit old with rough edges and a dark cover, petite, surrounded by thick IT books, a name, a familiar name.
Jhumpa Lahiri.

What? Are you kidding me? My eyes were out of my socket.

You mean, all this time, Jhumpa Lahiri and I were on the same floor, separated by few steps. And, not just any book, her PULITZER PRIZE WINNER Interpreter of Maladies

I was floored, muttered- “Tonight baby after Adi goes to sleep, I will have the soft light and you!”. Jhumpa is waiting to speak her words. She wants to start a conversation with me. Tonight!

I had just finished reading Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Sapiens is about the evolution of human-kind, of how we evolved from being hunter-gatherer-forgerer who roamed-traveled- moved every season, lived off berry, fruit, honey, and occasionally small animals, worked 3 days a week, 5-6 hours a day, polytheist-polygamous to being God.

Is there anything more dangerous than dissatisfied and irresponsible gods who don’t know what they want?

I know a few things now.

  1. Yuval Noah Harari hates humans ūüėČ
  2. I wanna be a hunter-gatherer. And they work fewer hours than me has got nothing to do with this decision.
  3. I wanna read more of Yuval Noah Harari.

Guess what else was on the shelf?

Tada!

Home Deus; A History of Tomorrow. By Yuval Noah Harari!

By this time, my eyes were out and I was drooling. My head vibrating “Am booking tickets to Israel and then a hop to Italy”. I was tip-toeing , jumping in excitement. What is the chance that I will find two of my dream books, free of cost!

I love this library. Am so glad I joined here.

It has Books. Old, new, bounded, paperback, hardcover, faded , bright, red/black white and dark. The place is all white. The ink will probably fade but the conversations, the life in the book will remain even after centuries have passed. And that is what draws me to reading.

I was in a chocolate factory ‚̧

I could not get the book issued, but tomorrow is gonna be my day.

Tonight am gonna sleep with a smile and thoughts of Lahiri and Harari.

Whoa, that rhymes! How cool is that !

Happy Reading!

When you see a lady sitting on a table, with a book..

LEAVE HER ALONE.

Do not small talk. Do not “Hey, How are you?”.

And never-ever-ever join her on the table. Period.

She might be your best buddy, but you are definitely not hers, not at that moment.

Total stranger.

And if that lady happens to be me, with my crush, I might bite, meow, roar or just chuff! It goes south from here, so if your headaches, you will know whom to blame.

You may be the King of the North out to save the world from white walkers, Night King and Zombies, but I am the Queen of Seven Kingdoms, I have two full-grown Dragons, an army of Un-sullied, an army of savages Dortharaki’s……….

And a BLOODY HELL GOOD BOOK to read!

Oh My! Why so much ranting? Whatever happened to the sweet girl?

I told you, I hate reading…

I reach my office early, not that I want to. But for brevity sake, let’s just know that I get there a good half-an-hour before I should. And I find solace in the cafeteria. I look forward to reading what is happening next in Saleem Sinai life. Add to that, the reading done while commuting to the office, has already transported me to the pre-independence India, somewhere in Delhi, where Saleem Sinai’s mother has just made a public announcement of his existence.

Get this picture straight – Am deep down in the world of words.

You can only find me physically walking to the cafeteria, picking up a cup of coffee and settling down on a table with a book in hand, but in my mind, am not present in cafeteria. Am in Delhi.

Here is a visual, just so you get it straight.

girl and boy sitting in front of brown wooden coffee table
She doesn’t want your company buddy. She isn’t smiling for you. Get your own book.¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Photo by Zun Zun on Pexels.com

 

But the universe is full of people who have a head that talks. (rolling eyes) does not read. The cafeteria is mostly empty at this time but has few from this breed. They have their head full of thoughts that ought to be spoken out loud in the presence of another head.

And they join me on my table, the table where I already have a company. Of my book. I could almost bark- Can’t you see, I have a company?

This one here and it’s a bloody good company.

20190413_224722

But I didn’t bark. Or even Meow!

And so, I was interrupted by their life’s rumble about travel, office, kids, life ..blablabla. I was lending my ear but inside, I was cursing. You.

Sorry. Apology.  Forgive me, please.

It was supposed to be me-reading time. You are at the wrong table! Clearly.

When it happened the second time. I even gave a cue. Out-loud Or maybe I just murmured.

Me picked up my tea, headed to a table. *Spot* a “Hey! Person”, Ignore, ignore and grand Ignore ..

“Hey! Person”: Hey, Are you alone? .. I will bring my cup.

Me: Am not alone… (watching him go to coffee machine) (murmuring) I really don’t need a company.¬†

I hated him. With all my Heart, Kidney, Lung. Cumulative.

And then it all poured out of his mouth….

Forcing me to ask about his life. His commute. His work. But my mind was on the bookmark peeping out of my book placed neatly on the table.¬†It will be only until the end of the day, a good ten hours before I could pick up my story ūüė¶¬†¬†

See, How can I not hate that “Hey! Person?”

Moral of the story. 

I have a book. I don’t need your company.

I have a book. I shouldn’t sit in the cafeteria, find a better place ( Heading to my desk, I realised we have a small pantry, crammed behind reception, on my floor, one down the cafeteria)

I have a book, sit in the pantry, hidden from all Hey! people.

Get the cue ūüėČ I don’t care!

 

 

 

 

 

A cheesy post for a non-cheesy man..

This post is gonna be really really cheesy. The sort that I don’t do often. In fact, I may never hit Publish.

But Since you are reading this and you are not me, so I must have hit “Publish”.

Lame, I know ūüėČ

So, what makes this cheesy? Am gonna talk about Love, the goody-cuddly love and it is gonna sound like the love declarations from FB feed that I find so cheesy! I mean, You love your husband, tell him, don’t declare to whole wide FB world.

So this is how it goes.

Today ( This post is way too late, but let’s assume today is the day when) marks the 11th year of us being married. And we decided to lunch together since I couldn’t take time off office. We aren’t a couple to go out often. So going out is special. Luckily, I have switched job to a place very near to his office. So meeting for lunchtime was easy.

Now, this is important- I switched job recently, as recent as a month. and am adjusting to the new place. It is not a struggle, but living in past is my struggle.

It doesn’t help, that sometimes I miss my old colleagues. Life was much simpler and somehow happy. Life here is fantastic, but let’s say isn’t simple. You know the feeling when you are among loads of people, yet feel lonely sometimes even though you are so chatty in the head?

Like everything is just noise and you can hear the voice inside and outside your head. Or actually no voice, coz you are just bored and don’t want to think or listen.

I have this feeling during lunch time.

Of course, today wasn’t gonna be any different.

But hey it is different! I was going out with hubby.

We decided on a fancy restaurant just two blocks from my office. As I left office and walked toward the venue, I noticed everything is so much better here than the previous job-… the work, the garden, the office. Everything here is perfect.. but not familiar, not mine. It isn’t known. And with that feeling, I was spiraling down into the same silence ūüė¶

And then I saw him, not where I expected. He had walked a couple of blocks more to reach me. To walk a distance little with me. In the mid of all unknown, I saw him with a cheesy smile.

And I was in love again. In a heartbeat. ‚ô• With him of course ūüėÄ

The feeling of familiarity was back. Am home and I can drop my shield and feel what I wanna feel. I could tell him what I miss. It felt good to be me, no pretentious.

We walked hand-in-hand like lovers, like first-timers who cant get hands off each other Awwww. lovely- cuddly told you ūüėČ

And I enjoyed it, I enjoyed the comfort. He doesn’t even have to listen to me. It is just his presence that is a comfort. And tells me that I will go past this feeling, this chatty head.

I guess I really needed to see him.

And now to the blogosphere, perhaps to FB world too, Am gonna profess my love for my really really lazy-weekend-only-on-sofa husband of 11 years! Am glad you are here with me.

So this is really cheesy? Isn’t it?

I mean, what the hell – You love your husband, go tell him not write a post on blog ūüėČ next you will be sharing it on FB !

PS: The image is from our wedding, 11 years ago. Since then together we must have gained 200 Kgs. Isn’t that a #relationshipgoal!

How to spend 10 minutes, rather waste 10, & then another 30 blogging about it.

At the office, my colleague AbhiSwami started an online chat with three of us. Him, me and SatyaSwami.

AbhiSwami  : Hi

SatyaSwami: Hi

Me                  : Hello

AbhiSwami  : Can we meet now to discuss the issue ..blah-blah-blah?

Me                      : sure, now?

SatyaSwami  : Give me 10 minutes.

AbhiSwami  : Ok

Me  My Head:

“Give me 10 minutes” *pondering*, So what exactly is SatyaSwami implying?

Is it that to discuss the issue, he demand that both of us give him 10 minutes of (stress on next word) OUR ¬†time ( I capitalized it just so you see where am going) ¬†which will yield HIM 20 minutes of …..time, to be precise, my time. Did you see what he is doing?¬†Blackmail ..In clear text, in broad daylight, at office?!? WTH SatyaSwami!

Chill lady head! 

That could be the beginning of something fun. Hey! I have 20 minutes, got it from my colleagues.Sounds like you have wonderful colleagues….¬†

Yes!

So now that it is implied that AbhiSwami will give him his next 10 minutes, how will he give him that? Stand next to him. Sleep for next 10 minutes, so that SatyaSwami can do whatever he wanted to do without his colleague hovering over his shoulder “Take my 10 minutes”. Should I go join AbhiSwami *realizing he doesn’t know all this yet, certainly this is in my head*, Should I tell him Let’s go and give our time to SatyaSwami? He asked for it “Give me 10 minutes” and it is certainly no blackmail. I have pondered.

Interesting, So is “time” a commodity now? ¬†How shall I¬†order it? Boy! Give me a cord, a butter¬†¬†¬†butcher¬† butter knife, a hand glove, 100mg chloroform, a big gunny¬†sack …. and a pack of 30 minutes?

*Pondering* What shall I do with this extra time and all the stuff along in my order?

Well, certainly if anyone gives me 30 minutes, ¬†You would find me on the bed under the quilt, in the morning, sleeping! I will keep the rest of the stuff in the gunny bag. ¬†What were you thinking? chloroform might comes¬†handy at a¬†time when the¬†kid wouldn’t shut his eyes and my eyes won’t remain open!

Would AbhiSwami give me 10 minutes, if I ask? He seems content to give SatyaSwami…no complaint, no question asked. Just “Ok”.

More of blah blah blah…

After 10 minutes,

SatyaSwami pinged and we proceeded to discuss the issue.

The Epiphany.

Aha! So, That’s how I gave my time when he asked: “Give me 10 minutes”.But he didn’t take it… What a waste of¬†time.¬†

Now, The Epiphany 2.

And after, another 30 or so minutes of writing this.

*Me, Growling* SatyaSwami – YOU OWN ME 40 MINUTES !

Image source – pixabay. check pixabay , great , free pictures.

Coming back to work , after a heavy lunch at a fine-dine restaurant , on a Friday  , sponsored by the office , I learned a great deal about human anatomy.

When stomach is full up to the brim  , brain stops functioning.

Mind is in trance and human body is capable of sleep walker-talker-worker.

Would you say Zombie – Stage 1 ??

Bmuuwaaah My Reign of Terror !

One-to-one meeting with my Project Manager at work about my work , feedback , general stuffs but no appraisal,no hike  yet..

Wait , did I say No appraisal ? Then Why the hell am I in this meeting?

The conversation

Manager : Himadri , we are very happy with your work.

Me (feeling excited within , but act cool ):  Thank you.

Manager : But here are some feedback from your colleagues and this is just perspective .

Me ( Grrrrrr give me the name and address , I have murder streak somedays and I can fix this issues on those days..) Yup , am listening.

Manager : S said there might be some folks in our team who are afraid to approach you.

Me ( Grrrrr , Grrr) : Okay.

Me  in my head : Did he said afraid ?

Manager : I¬†know you say what you want to say and do blah blah¬†, but some of the folks see the open discussion as threat .. blah blah blah .. hesitate …. too open .. blah ..blah.. afraid to approach you blah blah blah¬†..

I was still at contemplating “afraid of ME” and manager was already in second half of the story ..

My Reign of terror

Afraid of me , WOW so people are terrified of me! afraid of me . I have my own subjects who are afraid of me , hesitate to talk to me , come and work with me everyday but are terrified me ! My own “Reign of Terror” .

So that is the reason M never looks up to me when I speak to him . He just keeps looking at the monitor and says “Yes , you did break your laptop ! Thrice! I saw it with my own eyes”! Reason for why A never ever tries to question¬†me saying How can I ask Architect to … N, never ever utter a word in my presence , just smile and agree with whatever I say. This is a good approach , never upset¬†me¬†, might bite you ūüėÄ

I  should know the names , a list of names, definitely. Imagine the possibility I have now in my hands. I have established , worked my way up to terrorize people , to make them feel threatened and now its reap time.

My evil self is popping his head every sec now “why the hell are you doing this yourself , you have a stream of people ready to do anything less¬†I Bmummmmwaaah them into sand!”

List to do

  • I could use my “terror” to make people do things annoyingly stupid , just below my grey cells to do .. like filling up time sheet every freaking friday. ¬†My brain is so powerful to multi task , that you seriously cannot categorize it as “Did Project X from 1030 to 1130” . I can multitask , can do hundreds of things .. So while this “afraid” team member of mine fills the time sheet , my brain can complete another task in hand .. like choosing the handbag ¬†from ebay.
  • ¬†Print outs , ¬†Should I waste my enormous energy to “fix” printer ? The printer really knows how to teach us the road¬†paper travels through its interiors to give us final out. It says Tray A is jammed , then B is jammed so on and so forth. ¬†You fix the jam , you are rewarded with the final print and the knowledge that the printer has A B C D trays !¬†It’s time for the afraid guy to know the trays of printer! Or better yet , can I terrorize printer a machine?
  • ¬†A cup of coffee on my desk before I start my work is must and who is better to do then “not me self” but ” that shivering afraid guy “! Second thoughts- ¬†Coffee is the time when I establish my reign, spread it, recruit more “afraid” people.. I have to do this task myself! Strike this off list.
  • Have you ever ever filled documents for VISA . The Swedes wants to know my family tree .They have a document to fill in all details of each of your family member. Then there are plenty more document to submit. Hmm , lemme pick one of my afraid subject to do this stupid task.

As days will pass, the list and my terror should increase to the level that I just have to utter a word and thing will be done. I already feel like am a big body builder with enormous muscle power , huge eyes and a gigantic roaring voice and rest of the world is shivering quivering afraid people from Lilliput..

Boo!


PS : Are you afraid of me ? Not yet ? Bwaaaaahhh … Now ?

PPS : If you are my friend I can actually ask my “afraid” subjects to do your task ! Perk to be the one with boss ūüôā