Wishes for New Year!

I have been thinking after reading numerous wishes I have received in last 24 hours. Everyone suddenly seems to be sincerely wishing me love, peace, happiness, and prosperity for the new year ahead.  Are you listening to all this Universe – You have got a job to do!

Hmm, Something tells me that love, peace, happiness .. is all perspective. God will be confused, he She has no time to read between lines, and given the amount of request perhaps it would be better if my friends could send me wishes, telling exactly what to do. Anything could go wrong in sending love,peace and happiness my way!

God:  Hmm, Someone sent her happiness – So should I send a puppy or give a flat tummy? Hell .. I have got plenty to do ..let’s just send her a puppy. 

Noooooooooooooo ! It’s the other one lady!

To all my wonderful readers, visitor, bloggers, followers, if you have not send any wishes, read and you will know what you have say. Be precise 😉

On top of my list, and that of everyone else 

“May you get a waistline that will fit you into size XS,   S (Alright, I will be practical) M size!”

Head: Something tells me this will be wish of 90% of people of ladies on planet earth, which might be too much for God to handle and also that am writing this very late, I might be already at the bottom of wish list, but I could certainly outwit if everyone wishes me this, certainly the number of messages counts ! See there are lots of these waistline messages, let’s just do it and get the hell out of her list.

May your dinner plate have a constant supply of chicken, mutton   keema, and pan fried spice wrapped fish fry, and on the days when dinner looks  green and veggie, the universal-power-of-meat magically turns every veg mouth-full into chicken-curry/fish-fry mouth-full!

May you get super-eyes that can burn your calories just by “looking” at the person running on the treadmill. Just a stare and there 100 calories gone!  Evil laugh

May your husband learns to put the SUPER WET towel on the clothesline, NOT, definitely NOT on the bed.

May your son learns to keep his mouth shut during poo, I swear I do not find his Look mummy, that is bada(fat) potty, this is chota(small) potty talks cute anymore!

May you win a lotto to visit Venice and a wonderful nanny to take care of your son at home (definitely not with you), while you and husband live your dream of Gondola ride where you are singing at the top of voice THE song that made you fall in love with Venice!

May your husband shaves his beard every day, each and every of 365 days ahead,  such that it no more render half of his face area useless, giving him a powerful weaponry to annoy me just by brushing it off my face whenever I plan to annoy him and he wants to scare me away. Trust me, you do not want to feel those little prickly hair monster and loose a game of I-can-outsmart-you with your partner.

May you get to walk in the rain, under the umbrella, big enough to hold you and your husband together, but small to keep you both close. AFTER he has put his towel on the clothesline and shaved his beard.

May you never hold onto the feeling of I need to pee immediately outside the bathroom door contemplating if it would be rude to knock while some lady is possibly just looking through her facebook feeds and planning her next selfie – a pout with beauty mode ON to make her skin glowing like a light bulb.

May the days and nights of the weekend be longer than weekdays. And that your days be filled with absolutely nothing but a bed and pillow.If that is a subject, then be the subject matter expert in it.

May WordPress gives you a free domain! Yay!

And as for new year resolution, I have tried , revised and finally made peace with what Calvin says.

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New year resolutions , revised.

2016

December is here !

And I have energy kicking in, waiting to sprout with new resolution new determination for the new year!
I should think about my new year resolutions soon..Soon, to channel the energy in right direction ;to orchestrate core competency and empower to achieve scalability and think out of box ..

“To infinity and beyond!” Applause!

Head : You are not giving a session at office!

murmuring  Well, I was coming to the topic , if you had some patience..

Head: So being the master of the body , am the legit organ to propose the list of new year resolution.

“The List”

Yes , Yes , A list coz I believe life is too short to do so much , So start early , plan better with a “list”.

Head: sure? , The list is not so you lament at the end “the list was bloody too long , I could not..”

Grrr , Head ! Alright I will take a bloody oath this time!

The Oath.

I , a good smart heart with a don head !, swear in the name the God of my father and  my father-in-law ( you see ,they don’t pray to the same God, so such double trouble ); by the old and the new God, by the God of fire and light , by the God of “Games of thrones” and “Lord of the rings”, I shall abide by the list . I shall not deviate from the list. I shall live or die protecting the list.

Fix the state of happening around me

Head: So let’s start with fixing things this year.

yes , am sure of doing this, This year . I cant bear to see this state of happening around me any more…..I don’t understand how and why it happens…all that is happening in the world around us.

Head: You mean “happening” in your apartment, at your home ?

hmm …well I really don’t know when the apartment goes from clean to clutter….

Head : Then stop like you are worrying hell about world peace and get to the point..
murmuring I hate this head of mine , My resolution is to exchange it with head of any dumb wit model anytime of day/month/year.
Head: along with the dumb wit model’s ass ?

Ignoring …..
Wait , actually its not a bad idea “picture a new me , in new year , in a new avatar purely due to exchange of ass and head.”

Head : Soooo we were saying to keep apartment clean…

Yes , My first resolution is to have a clean apartment , so I don’t have panic attack every time the door bell rings!

On second thought..rather second heartbeat.

Don’t you think it would be too much to commit for a whole year ? 365 days? Is it leap year..2016?. I mean I do not have a big apartment , but I do have a super active son who has a super lazy mother.
Head : super lazy mother of your son will be you, wont be?
Revised resolution
This year in 2016 , I resolve to keep  a neat and clean “Dinning Table” , all of it . Applause !
Head: You lazy ass .. Maid cleans the dinning table every day.

 Start the day early , wake up at 6.

Head: You must wake up at 6.  Am up at 6 , why can’t you be?

Yes! I have to learn to get up early.

At 6.

Isn’t it  dark during winters and rains and post monsoons. Sign! So it is not wise…

Head suspiciously :  That leaves only summer from March to May… 3 out of 12 months. 

murmuring  So it is not wise to wake soooo early. We could settle for 8 ?

Revised resolution
I resolve to wake up at 6 ..during summers only.  Applause!

Head : Eh? what’s new .. You were getting up daily at 8 this whole year !!

GOSH , you are so like pain in ass kind of head!

Okay , It’s my turn to think of resolution.

Go to sleep early ,at 9.

Head : At 9 ! ROFL!

What ? I can , I will go to bed at 9. Early to bed , early to rise ,makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.
Head: The healthy wealthy wise woman won’t get to see her daily dose of TV!

Revised Resolution

I resolve to go to sleep as soon as watching all episodes of GoT , Homeland , Comedy night’s with Kapil and reading all the blogs , posts … Applause!

Next one is am gonna Rock at office!

Head: hahaha, Rock , as in stone ?

Be a kick-ass ,smart-jack, know-it-all architect/developer, mentor team members , spread love and happiness at office , encourage , empower
and NOT I repeat do NOT terrorize anyone at office.

Head : Your team members at office do not read your post.
So what ? Am not doing it for them. Am doing it for me , I have to be a better per….

Head stop-pretending-look :Neither does your Boss !

Bloody hell!
Revised resolution
I will be kick-ass tormentor at work , super scary me! Applause!

Next.

Watch at least one Rohit Shetty’s movie.

Where don fly , cars crash , topples and movie story is never ever written or revised..
Head worried : wait ! You can’t do this. Am soooooo not going for this. You will have to go headless! 

Evil laugh hahahah. Now I have to see movie. One each week for whole of 2016 😀

Head begging : You cannot torture me like this… 😦 

hahahhah, Let’s bold it , so the head knows what heart wants ,  gets!

Aha! I think am gonna watch one Rohit Shetty’s movie per week.

Happy new year folks!  Applause!


PS : My husband hopes I stop dancing in front of TV.
Husband: The idea of watching TV is to watch TV , not “Nagin” dance you!

I would like to remind him he has to spend all the new year’s of his life with me and my head .Better be in my good friends list all time!