I refuse to bow down to any allegation that I could be insidiously annoying this time of the month. I can prove that in none of the conversations, meetings or personal interactions I had this month, I was eating anyone’s brain.
“Oh my god, Am just out from a meeting with H and She was eating my brain over blah blah.”
Nope! That is a lie.
Am a perfect girl this season. One who is
suddenly always a great listener, appreciative, conversationalist, never blah blah blahs. I just cannot annoy anyone. For instance, WordPress is saying I have spam comments and I love these comments but it is all spam, I would not want them to be spam, but it is what it is and WordPress is shielding me,helping me and am not complaining…only hoping that someone selling cheap low Viagra online is also a veracious reader who while enhancing life surfs WordPress and comments on my post “Grade A stuff. I’m unquestionably in your debt.” And instead of clicking on “Empty Spam” because WordPress says it is a spam , I bask in that “Grade A, huh .. I must be good“.
Where am I going with all this? Am not eating anyone’s brain…..I cannot be.
(Coughing) Sorry can’t type anymore .. I think I have some part of your brain stuck in my throat.
(Spitting out) But I cannot eat it .. am fasting. Roza.
Me with fork and knife – Sweetie, Is it time yet? let’s eat some
At the office, my colleague AbhiSwami started an online chat with three of us. Him, me and SatyaSwami.
AbhiSwami : Hi
Me : Hello
AbhiSwami : Can we meet now to discuss the issue ..blah-blah-blah?
Me : sure, now?
SatyaSwami : Give me 10 minutes.
AbhiSwami : Ok
Me My Head:
“Give me 10 minutes” *pondering*, So what exactly is SatyaSwami implying?
Is it that to discuss the issue, he demand that both of us give him 10 minutes of (stress on next word) OUR time ( I capitalized it just so you see where am going) which will yield HIM 20 minutes of …..time, to be precise, my time. Did you see what he is doing? Blackmail ..In clear text, in broad daylight, at office?!? WTH SatyaSwami!
Chill lady head!
That could be the beginning of something fun. Hey! I have 20 minutes, got it from my colleagues.Sounds like you have wonderful colleagues….
So now that it is implied that AbhiSwami will give him his next 10 minutes, how will he give him that? Stand next to him. Sleep for next 10 minutes, so that SatyaSwami can do whatever he wanted to do without his colleague hovering over his shoulder “Take my 10 minutes”. Should I go join AbhiSwami *realizing he doesn’t know all this yet, certainly this is in my head*, Should I tell him Let’s go and give our time to SatyaSwami? He asked for it “Give me 10 minutes” and it is certainly no blackmail. I have pondered.
Interesting, So is “time” a commodity now? How shall I order it? Boy! Give me a cord, a
butter butcher butter knife, a hand glove, 100mg chloroform, a big gunny sack …. and a pack of 30 minutes?
*Pondering* What shall I do with this extra time and all the stuff along in my order?
Well, certainly if anyone gives me 30 minutes, You would find me on the bed under the quilt, in the morning, sleeping! I will keep the rest of the stuff in the gunny bag. What were you thinking? chloroform might comes handy at a time when the kid wouldn’t shut his eyes and my eyes won’t remain open!
Would AbhiSwami give me 10 minutes, if I ask? He seems content to give SatyaSwami…no complaint, no question asked. Just “Ok”.
More of blah blah blah…
After 10 minutes,
SatyaSwami pinged and we proceeded to discuss the issue.
Aha! So, That’s how I gave my time when he asked: “Give me 10 minutes”.But he didn’t take it… What a waste of time.
Now, The Epiphany 2.
And after, another 30 or so minutes of writing this.
*Me, Growling* SatyaSwami – YOU OWN ME 40 MINUTES !
Image source – pixabay. check pixabay , great , free pictures.
Coming back to work , after a heavy lunch at a fine-dine restaurant , on a Friday , sponsored by the office , I learned a great deal about human anatomy.
When stomach is full up to the brim , brain stops functioning.
Mind is in trance and human body is capable of sleep walker-talker-worker.
Would you say Zombie – Stage 1 ??
Thank you dear D for nominating me for something very different . Spirit of animal award. How cool is that ! Lots!
So, 5 facts about me.
- At 12 ,I tried to participate in school group dance , first time. But was kicked out because I could not shake my damn butt.I had stiff-butt syndrome. It just wont shake like Shakira. Since then, I never tried butt dancing on stage , but it hasn’t stopped me from dancing off-stage 😉
- I hate summer , especially Indian summer. It’s sweaty and seriously hot. But I love Mango , yummy . It’s truly king of fruits.
- I have never been to spa. I wish to visit once.
- I would rather read synopsis on imdb, then sit through 2 hours of a movie. My husband refuses to let me have remote on the ground that I could read the movie I wanna see , but he really need to watch . Grrr..
- I hate cooking , I just survive kitchen. I wish humans were like camels , who could go without food and water for many many days so I wouldn’t have to cook every damn day! Needless to say , I got a cook as soon as my salary allowed me the luxury. yay!
Now , my favorite part.
Q:If you were an animal, which animal would you be?
Bear, Definitely a Bear , hundred times : Bear. Bear in this life and the next one .
Why ? You bet , at the end of this list ..all you would want is to be a Bear.
Please Bear me.
- So I can nap all winters , I mean all of the winters. No office , no get-ready-for school , no cooking , no washing , no laundry ..just months of pure bliss. Sleep time. I know , right ..why can’t we all be just bear!
- I wanna be Bear from Game Of Throne after the period of “Winter is coming” when winter has arrived ! Why ? See above silly.
- So I can eat fish , swim with fish , play with fish and be just plain good old fish eater. 6th fact- I love fish.
- There are stories around in google how bear passed out after drinking beer. I need to do that .. that is in my bucket list. Get drunk once in life! To feel out of world and be free of head nodding “no” for every desire. So what’ stopping me? …. The taste and smell of alcohol is so nasty , I can’t go beyond a sip. Why can’t anyone get drunk eating fish with mango milk-shake! Right?
- I can feature in Masha and the Bear .. Oh How I love the series.
- I can be the Po in Kung-fu-Panda . Lady , those are an animated series . Gawh .. Am sure there is a team of humans who did those animations , and they need an inspiration , they do study actual bear. I could be the that one. Perform all stunt of Kung-fu while they are watching me and tirelessly capturing me in animate. And on the day of release hey see ..kung-fu-panda looks like me!
- So I can build up my fat and really do not ever ever worry about weight gain. Stomach isn’t flat , arms too big , thighs are like 4 lane highways! Move over , come here fish. Lets make that stomach big round ball of fur !
- So I look so big that everyone is afraid of me and I can terrorize anyone I want.
PS: Got to make list of people not to terrorize. Either you reader , like this post or send me a plate of fish with a dozen fresh mango to avoid being excluded from that list. You have been warned.
The last and interesting part ..Nominees.
Now this is really difficult for me. Each one in blogging community is so wonderful , it’s hard to name just 10. I love all I read .. So am gonna name the last 10 blogs I started following.
Spoken like true nut.
this stuff is golden
This is my Life!
Days in Hell
Blog of Hammad Rais
A Hopelessly Wandering Mind
You are by no means obliged to participate, if you’d like to, have fun with it!
Once you’re nominated add the photo to your blog.
Write a short (5 lines or more) description about yourself and what your blog means to you. Oh and if you were an animal, which animal would you be? (No buzzfeed answers please).
Nominate 10 bloggers for this award
Done. Please be Bear. We can hibernate together.Winter is coming.
Quote for today.
“The best way to eat chicken curry -cook it today , put it in fridge, eat it tomorrow.”
Quote for tomorrow.
“You are welcome, Yes am awesome!”