Diet for weight loss.

Girls at my office eat only salad for lunch.

Girls. If I call them ladies, they might be offended ūüėČ

Salad, only vegetarian like beet, cucumber, sprouts, broccoli .. blah blah. Most of them are vegetarian.I can hardly look at it.

At this point, I imagine many of my readers are offended РHira, Veg-Salad is also as good as meat. 

That’s a lie. And that’s a fact.

PS: I have a confession. I cannot leave any chance to take a dig at my vegetarian¬†friends – on their face, on my blog, in my head (look at them being so excited about rajma-chawla. crazy!). I know I need to see a therapist, a vegetarian one. With a meat eating therapist, we might make more jokes….

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“And then he ordered vegetarian¬†biryani, ha ha ha” ¬†Pic source- Pixabay.¬†

Come to think of it – I eat chicken, but they, the vegetarians eat the food that was meant for the hen and its family. Food that was to nourish other grass-eating animals. Where is the humanity when you snatch that food out of their plate into yours?

At least, am eating my food. Not others.

Now the counter argument could be how could I be better when I EAT chicken. That sounds even gross than eating the food they eat.

Let’s hear another fact. I eat chicken and fish. So I can only state about chicken and fish. And, I do not consider egg and milk as non-veg, just like many of my vegetarian friends.

“All chicken, all of them are born to be chicken curry or chicken fry or chicken roast blah blah. Chicken is not born to live the life to fullest.They serve a purpose, fulfill their destiny, now it’s time to be fried! By eating chicken, am just playing my part in the larger play of life.Chicken’s life.”

“As for fish, once they are out of the water, certainly cannot survive. I¬†might as well eat to recycle the protein content. I mean, I cannot see food waste.”

Back to original conversation starter-

Girls at my office eat only salad for lunch.

If weight loss is in agenda, I wonder if they have noticed how Cows, Buffalo, Elephants are as compared to meat eating- Cheetah, Panther, Leopard? Hint: size. Pic source- Pixabay. 

This eats only grass, just like you.

elephant-2064249_1920

This eats meat¬†and just look at that¬†perfect figure, slender waist, lean legs and don’t¬†get me started on stamina!

Moral of the post.

Follow cheetah’s diet if you wanna lose weight. Not elephant’s.

Cake or Roti, A Valentine must have.

14th Feb was Valentine day. It is a silly day to celebrate love. Love should be celebrated every day. Not just one day. And with that one line, I sound bored.I know.

Anyhow.

We sort of did. Yay ! The basic minimum. He got me a wonderful cake. He always gets me a cake. That is the least, I know his lazy bones does permit.

A cake on 14th Feb 2006:

Me: Oh¬†Sweetie, I love you ‚̧

A cake on 14th Feb 2017

Me: Holly-Molly, there sits a kilo weight gain. Why couldn’t it be valentine sandwich?? What is wrong in that thought??!

On second thought- I think it is better Valentine is celebrated only once a year.

Nevermind the weight-gain. I had a bite, then another one, few more and few more and then stopped ..only to begin again. Look at the cake .. How can anyone stop after a bite, you must be very very cruel to not go for the second spoon of THAT?

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Anyhow, moving ahead.

For the curious minds, the next question might be..”What did you do, ha? yeah, for him, on valentine? What did you get him?

I made a chapati, aka India bread. It came out pretty well. Can you see the shape? Cool,Eh ūüėÄ

heart

For those of you, who¬†couldn’t¬†figure out what is pretty cool about that bread is.I will spell it out for you. It is a heart. A perfect¬† heart.

Aha!Got it ? Eureka!

Shush, Now, listen, you observant folks. Very important. “Do not tell anyone that I cannot make perfect round roti aka Indian bread.” Do. Not. Nope. Zip your lips, sealed forever. Cross your heart and hope to die.

Especially, don’t¬†go tell my husband it-wasn’t-intented-to-be-heart-shaped because what really matters is the shape at the end. And what is it? A heart.

So, Now folks, What do you think, which one is a better valentine must-have? (Hint: new age romance)

A heart shaped cake ( Naaah ..that is so 1947! Everyone does that since the big bang, cake, chocolate, flowers!)

OR

A heart shaped roti (Now, that’s what I will call a symbol of love.. pure love and affection, very uncommon, very creative, very new age romance, every piece is unique!)

Gosh, Am so romantic. My husband must be feeling lucky. 

And not hungry anymore. 

Just when I decided to quit eating sweet , Universe noticed Aha.

And my dear neighbor decided to learn to bake cakes !

Two. Chocolate and Pineapple.

With frosting. Pink !

Pineapple is my favorite !

True Story.

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Universe : Victory! 

 

On the days when you don’t feel like cooking…

… you have permission to use my recipe,¬†am gonna share with you.And thank me (profusely) later , which am sure you would (profusely).

Because not only am sharing a quick easy peasy recipe , am giving wings to ideas , one where you will find yourself spending less time in the kitchen and more time doing whatever shit you wanna do outside kitchen,without compromising on taste. Yes. This recipe is awesome!

Now , continue , without any more delays , Here it is

Drum rolls !

Cooking time , 20 minutes.

Actual cooking time , in the kitchen Р5 minutes.

  1. Get a packet of noodles and a packet of soup. Any soup , any noodle. I have these two in my storage. Veg Hakka Noodles and Chicken Delite Knorr Soup. 20160821_194834

 

  1. Find a deep pot , Boil water as per instructions on noodle packet. I didn’t wait long enough and added tomato , pea and then white sesame seeds for its looks! Handsome colors ha ?

Once the water starts boiling , add soup , stir it once.Avoid any lumps.

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  1. Once the soup powder is completely dissolved¬†, add noodles. Add whatever veggie /chicken /meat residing in your ¬†fridge. I added tomato , peas, paneer, green chilli , cauliflower blah blah blah. At this time , I missed boneless chicken a lot ūüė¶ ,but what the hell , continue.

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  1. I peeked again into a fridge and found this leftover chickpea curry and awesome mint chutney. Moto is to add  whatever is left in your fridge. Get rid of that sauce lying there for a week , or the curry you no more like to have as is , blah blah !

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Now , your 5 minutes into the kitchen is over. Go out of this fire and water chamber , find something else to do , like reading this post , clicking on like and follow!

Check on the soupy noodle after some time and see if the consistency appeals you. Mine was appealing and this is how it look in the end.

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This was a few weeks ago , and I have already tried this twice , days when my cook ditched me and I was in no mood to cook which seems perpetual these days.

Go one , try it.

And , If by some bad karma , or past life sins , or sins of your forefathers , or sins of your neighbour , ¬† or sins of your friends , highly incapable and unqualified taste buds, ¬†you didn’t like what you cooked by following¬†my recipe, You are permitted to cuss me, call me names , but remember “Who made the dish? YOU! HIGH TIME , Take responsibility for your action !” <End of barking>

Happy eating!

Vegan friends , I feel your pain!

Scene : Dinner time , no chicken , no fish , not every egg. Okra fry and Indian bread. My life sucks!

Suddenly  , I feel a pain in my heart. OMG ! Am I having a heart attack?

My head tries to focus on food , trying best to relish it , but my heart has given up. So you see “the” heart attack.

This is how blabbing goes…

I have always felt pain and sorry for vegans. I mean , what do you get to eat as vegetarians? I see them jumping at paneer dish , craving for chole-batura.

Oh my ! What a pity …Have they ever tasted keema rolls??

Head : .. You seriously can’t be saying this ? ¬†

No , no , I do. really. With all my heart , I feel for them. A good vegan food is an oxymoron.

Head: Oh C’ON¬†, veggie is good.

I know I should not be saying this on a public post , I will get backlash from all my vegan fan following..Sign! Not to mention my vegan friends.

Head: fan? Do you mean the ceiling fan ….. ha ha ha I mean this is your best joke ever!

Ignoring head , he is a nut….

Head: You are confused again, I am you , your head. I cannot be He. Wrong pronoun lady. Again!

How can you be Me, you just advocated for vegans!

Head: You do know capsicum is your favourite. You like Began ka bharta and Aloo pitika is the best mashed potato in the world!

So, I have few favourite. But I cannot live on veg alone , I mean I need chicken , egg or fish.

My refrigerator needs protein , and so does my stomach.

My liver needs to filter some chicken soup and my eyes are looking out for surmai fish , covered with semolina , soaked in masala , ting of lemon juice,  cooked slowly on a pan with mustard oil . Aaah !

I hate my dinner . And my vegan friends , I will show some solidarity and be happy and jump at paneer butter masala , but my true love will always be ..

Head (to his fans   vegan fans ) : This is not my heart!

 

Egg is yummy , nice on tummy but comes from bummy , says my hubby!

Scene 1:

Me and Husband eating boiled egg-potato curry with steamed rice for dinner. Am in good mood. Even though egg is not fish , I consider anything that moves or has capacity to move , if not eaten in its embryonic state qualifies for a good dinner and happy stomach.

PS: Now that I have it written , it sounds kind of gross.. to eat living breathing creatures which could move, crawl or moan.

PPS :My head quickly throws above PS out of window and I strike it out.  

Anyways, Back to dinner.

HappyEggs

Egg is yummy and nice on tummy!

Scene 2 :
With happy stomach , we sat down with son to watch Ant bully -The movie.

Lucas the boy , sits to eat with his ant-friends what they¬†call honeydew “treat”. Its a wobbly-dobbly green blob liquid. Lucas loved it and finishes it off quickly ,prompting an ant to ask if he wants more.¬†Of-course he wants more. Its so tasty. It’s a treat ,

The ant turns around , happily places the bowl to collect more of the “treat” coming out of a caterpillar’s bottom.

Holy Lord ,¬†Lucas was eating caterpillar’s poop!

Me : Ewwwww , that is gross.. I can never ever have anything , however tasty it is ,coming out of any creature’s bottom!

Husband  Evil laughs for 5 minutes

After 5 minutes,  What do you think  ,where does egg come from ?

BadEgg

Egg is no yummy , comes from bummy , says my hubby

Am bored and cooking bore.

Am bored.

Am bored of eating , eating the same vegetarian diet day after day , night after night.

Am not pure vegan , neither my husband , but we are¬†I am the most laziest couple¬†person on planet earth. Laziness supersede all other love , even love for good food. We¬†I can’t get our my ass off our house to buy meat, to order online. (PS: Asked my husband to edit and¬†he strikes out “we” to “I” , but trust me , it is we as team lazy ..)

It’s been more than 2 weeks since … the fragrance¬†, the sound , the touch , the physical presence of chicken plate, It still lingers in my mouth and keep me awake on¬†lonely nights. Everything reminds me of it. I look at moon and think why cant it be like chicken leg. I look at flowers and think why cant it be fragnant as chicken curry.

I rage for you , my body aches for you.. to be specific stomach  , watering tongue , and the Mademoiselle Pallate.

Oh dear lord , hey bhagwan , Allah!  Am in love with chicken.

Am missing it so much.

And fish..

Aaah , my heart aches even to¬†write fish. Or when my son sings the¬†rhyme of fish “Machli jal ki rani hai”.¬† I should code-name it something else , as well teach my son another rhyme. So my poor heart can be happy. Henceforth , no fish but hsif.

Now  , some of your will be think , What rubbish. Am vegan and am quite good without meat.

If you answered Yes to this , please go to nearest doctor and get your eyes checked out.

What?! Eyes , why ?

Still not clear why ?  Proves me right , no fish means no good eyesight AND no brains.

Moving along.

Am bored. I know I have said this like 100 times already for you to read , but I hope I have made by point clear Рam really really bored of eating vegan diet in past 2 weeks, bored to death, eating is not fun like before.

Heck, even my fridge is¬†complaining . “Do you remember party at Somjit ? Fridge at his place¬†had a kilo of basa fish and a kilo of chicken and perhaps more meat jam-packed into freezer and look what do I have – Ice”.

Fridge is right , it need protein. Protein that comes from fish. Am thinking Salmon and Chicken and Surmai , pomphret , rohu and mince meat.

Moving along.

Am bored. So when I had to cook vegan again, specifically this below , I said enough.

ivy_gourd_in_india
It is green , taste okay , it is just vegan

 

I refused to create any usual vegetable. At least , lemme spice it up. But I will not waste time cutting it up into bite size pieces. To hell with bite size ,like it is gonna make bite size coccinia into chicken.  I will just cut it into half and cook.  That is my bite size.

It’s just co-incidence ¬†, both starts from “C”. Chicken or coccinia or cundro¬†(In hindi , should start with C , but ..

Anyways – here is a dish for your boring vegan days , tip for broken heart and stomach -From -another green eating rotten stomach.

Steps to follow… after cutting each one into half.

(1) Look at leftover , Do you think anything will get along with this?

(2) Nothing . Look again ?

(3) Al rite ,look at sauce compartment. Anything?  for the love of looking .. pls look harder. I cannot cut onion and tomato paste to make elaborate masala.

(4) Got it Рchutney , peatnut chutney , leftover from Dosa yesterday. It is just simple roasted peanut , powdered spice and two rounds in grinder with a bit of water.

(5) Add a tomato and fry it a little . That should be step 5.20160217_090010

 

(6) Next add the chutney directly to the pot along with tomato and coccinia.

PS : This is the exact moment when my husband reminded that I should have cooked chutney a little before adding it and that it is a bad choice coz it sticks to pan and I need to stir it constantly now . If only he was present during step 1.

Aaah ! Too late.

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(7) It sticks to pan , but remember pan-stick-gravy is always tasty. So praise the lord and continue the stir. Add all powdered spice like Salt , Coriander , Turmeric. And then I added those white and black seeds for looks only!

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(8)  Sorry Рkeep stirring . Try not to curse ALL vegetables on planet earth. We need vitamins and minerals for good skin and hair. Stir ,else it might stick to pan like below.

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(9) By now , I was bored of stirring , bored of cooking a vegeterian dish. I mean, what the hell it is not like am stirring continuously from last 10 minutes to cook chicken curry?! It is not magically transform into chicken or fish curry ? Will it.

Screw it. Add water. Lots of water.20160217_092122

(10) Close the pot , simmer the heat and go watch “Street Food” on TLC or read blog.

No wait. I have to get ready for office and get Adi ready for school. Forget about chicken.

(11) After a while , check on pot. End was not so bad , I will say. The lunch was a semi success ūüôā20160217_091131

 

PS: That was on Monday , Today is Sunday and I bought – 2 Surmai and a packet of mince meat . My stomach is happy , So I completed this post ūüôā

 

Quote for today.

“The best way to eat chicken curry -cook it today , put it in fridge, eat it tomorrow.”

Quote for tomorrow.

“You are welcome, Yes am awesome!”

 

Capsicum butt stuffed, a complete family entertainment!

Capsolovers family..

My favorite vegetable is capsicum. My husband eats capsicum ..we consume at least a kilo a week. My complete family loves capsicum! We are capsolovers !

Head : Liar¬†! Husband¬†hates capsicum , your 3 year old boy doesn’t eat any vegetable. Family of capsoooooohaters!

Hey ! careful head , Husband , he eats it..I have prepared for him ..

Head (interrupting) : wait ,I haven’t finished yet .. ¬†And capsolovers ??.. is NO¬†word. See spellcheck is screaming¬†!

¬†*continuing in a tone of sophistication * : And ¬†by eating , if you mean , trying to thaw it with spoon and murmuring hate for every mouthful ¬†before deciding ,”enough I need an¬†omelette” then yes he did¬†eat capsicum.

Alrite (making a mental note of not lying in front of head),  1/3rd of my family loves capsicum. That is the stat. We are three . Including me.

Head : Do the maths lady ..

So , C’on , what’s not to like , I mean its round ,crunchy, even has a butt so can sit and best of it ,can be taken both – raw or cooked.What other veggie can claim all that adjectives?

Head : veggie  with butt ? Why am I attached to a heart with no sense of world!

I remember a dish .. all of us likes and its of capsicum.

Head : Eh ? The one where you stuff capsicum with whatever you find in your fridge and put it in microwave and eat it almooost raw? 

It is called smart cooking , am a smart cook. Remember this? Don’t spoil it. Am gonna explain how it’s done for only smart readers!

hmm , what should I name the dish?

Capsicum butt stuffed!

So I had few capsicum in my fridge.¬†I bought them green , nurtured in there¬†till turning red and then realized it is¬†not gonna turn into bell pepper , so I might as well finish it before crunch is gone…

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See , I told you capsicum have butt and can sit!

Now I need something to stuff up these capsicum. I love stuffed so much!

Head : Eh , and wont you tell your reason for “love stuffed”?

Alrite (making a mental note of trying not to deviate truth in front of head), So I love stuffed capsicum coz that way I can eat capsicum , husband can eat stuffing and I can even make paratha from stuffing for kiddo… .a complete family entertainment!

Phew ! There I said it. This is my family favorite recipe coz everyone get’s to eat their favorite!

Head :  I feel so much lighter now!

Ignoring the snob head..So now I need something to stuff up these capsicum.

(1) Open your fridge , look around and see what can you find? Paneer (cottage cheese) , other cheese , peas. Bring it on. Anything can be stuffed into capsicum. I found mushroom.

(2) Nothing in fridge? Alternative .. hmm you got to have potato in your house.. What kind of Indian ( or European?) are you with no potato!  Boil it and mash it.

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Mushroom were getting lonely in fridge and needed some trimming . Mixed here with all spices…

(3) Heat a pan , add butter . Not oil .. Butter is tastier. Add some onion.

(4)  Add mushroom to pan , salt , chilli powder and whatever powder spice you can find.  Find some special spice like amchur , chaat masala..

Head:¬†Aha! You didn’t tell to wash and cut mushrooms before adding to pan , not whole one,

C’on , Do I need to tell this to humans who knows to¬†cook ?

Ignoring …

(5) Add some sauce , it taste good. Open your sauce and soup cabinet and pick one. I had tomato soup. Mix it into the mushroom. It’s better mushroom cooks with sauce.

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Mushroom floating in tomato sauce

Head  : Aha! lady .. sauce makes it curry .. you are definitely not looking for a curry to fill into capsicum butthole?

Shut-up head , this is my recipe.

Wait , he is right.

Am not making gratin , its stuffed capsicum.. stuffing should be …solid.¬†Think NOW, risk mitigation , crisis aversion, damage¬†control.

(6)¬†Mix ¬†a bit of corn flour and add to¬†thicken it. It worked, as you can see in picture. And I also added a bit of white sesame seeds, for the white effect ūüôā

It just looked good in pan with other red stuff.

Damage contained!

PS: You can skip step 6 , if you have skipped step 5 .

20151206_161227
Damage controlled mushroom , cooking in peace and harmony with tomato soup /corn flour

 Head (Grinning ): See I was right 

Ignoring head who think he is Master Chef! Cover the pan and let it cook. This can’t be eaten raw. You see it has no can-eat-raw super power like my doll , capsi!

(7) ¬†Work with capsicum , cut off capsicum’s head , slide off and then empty its belly. remove all the seeds and glaze the capsicum with oil on the inside wall.

 

(8)  Now am bore and I assume you get the drift. Fill the stuffing into capsicum, prepare your micro-wave plate.

Add plenty of oil, place the capsicum on plate and put it inside.

(9) Cook it as much as you want it .. I mean I like a bit raw ,as you can see in the pic.. try different options of microwave – Grill , convection , Grill + convection , power heat , or just plain.. sky is your limit (and the options of your microwave).

Here is the best part !

My husband likes the mushroom stuffing , I finished off the capsicum.

All in one and one in all .

Isn’t this the smartest capsicum butt stuffed¬†ever !

Ta-da!

Smart cook , a missing ingredient and a fab chicken recipe !

Am a smart cook. I realized it, first ¬†when I cooked rice years ago…

Cooking rice is very easy- rice , water and a bit of salt in a steam pressure cooker, wait till cooker blows out 2-3 whistles and it’s done.Dumb cooks mess¬†up by adding less or more water, dumbest one do not add salt.

Am smart cook. I do everything right.

I just missed one ingredient – water.

The result ? There was no whistle . By the time I realized this, rice had turned into ¬†black ¬†pebble sticking to the bottom of the pan so very hard that I was feeling bad separating two eternal lovers .Rice refused to come out¬†of¬†pot even after¬†weeks of washing¬†…

Not bad I would say, still in smart category . I just missed 1 ingredient out of 3,  that is 1/3rd recall value ,  memory memorize ,success rate ..blah blah blah.. I think based on this stats ,I should be called above average smart cook ( am feeling so good about writing this post now ..)

My talent doesn’t stop here¬†. My husband never forgets to remind me of ONE¬†¬†time , just bloody ONE time , in all¬†of my cooking career¬†¬†when I messed up a particular Indian sweet dish “Halwa”, another easy-easy dish with 3 ingredients -sugar , semolina and milk . I forgot ; again just one item….

How bad can a sweet dish be without sugar? I mean really how bad ? Just pour some honey over it honey !!

(One would assume my husband¬†has good memory , but that “one” should wait till I ask my husband¬†about first time I cooked¬†for him and see his good memory show its true color!)

I once mis-read “cut into 1 centimeter pieces” and instead “cut into 1 inches long pieces” and result was raw ,¬†plain raw and this I admit was bad reading , not “lack of passion for cooking” issue.

My tea was once labelled gutter water .I meant to cut on some calories with less milk more water..smart move but not exactly drinkable combination for some.

But I will say¬†it’s rather smart .

There are more , but am starting to think the reader of post will join my husband next time I make halwa and¬†don’t want to give any upper hand to anyone via¬†my blog ,¬†any-upper-hand-over-me post¬†goes out of window!

This post is about my smartness in kitchen..

Overtime , I learned to specialize in recipe

  • which needs as little time in front of stove as possible…blink and you will miss when I was kitchen cooking..
  • which does not ever ever ever needs constant stirring…. just mix all , cover it , low flame and go read a blog.
  • measurement is not important¬†and free style hand measurement is just about right.. nothing can go wrong if you add more salt or sugar..
  • most important is you are never ever out of ingredients and nothing is a must ingredient ;¬†Sugar isn’t important for sweet dish , pour honey ,use chocolate syrup..
  • which can be cooked while you can catch your nap ! Yes , remember¬†low flame , ¬†plenty of water , and tell husband to keep an eye ūüôā

 

meandkitchen
That is me with a book , but sometimes I watch BBT or nap or play with son. And yeah .. in between I cook my smart chicken recipe!

Here is one very much fab chicken recipe..My style chicken..

Out – The Indian version which needs prep and constant stirring , at least 30 minutes in front of stove , an hour in making ! Puff!
In – read , write , watch TV, nap , play and in-between cook chicken!

Take a pot, put chicken(wash and dry) and mix following

  1. Open kitchen cabinet for spices  Рadd all to chicken , even sambhar powder (its a special for lentil-based vegetable stew only). I have salt , turmeric , chilly ,coriander , mustard and cumin seeds , and sambhar here.
  2.  Open kitchen cabinet for special spices Рadd all into chicken. I have bay leaf , clove , cardamom , carom seeds et al.
  3. Open kitchen cabinet for foreign exotic spicesРrosemary , thyme , oregano and galangal. If you already live in land of rosemary or galangal , then look at step 1 & 2 again, that might be foreign and exotic for you!
  4. Open refrigerator, get out bowl of plain curd and add it . No curd РTell hubby chicken will be a bit dry.
  5. Check your vegetable compartment and look for fresh herbs – coriander , mint, curry leaves and lemon.
  6. Look for any vegetable that is lying there since a week .. c’on you need to cook it now , capsicum , beans .. out out out! Not carrot ..you dont want chicken sweet
  7.  Add salt , of course.
  8. Add green chilly – this is my must have ingredient. Am ardent fan of green chills , it’s like oxygen for my food.
  9. If in mood , cut some onions and tomatoes and add it to pot. Add some garlic cloves .. actually add plenty of garlic.
  10. Pour in some amount of oil.
  11. Cover or do not cover the¬†pot, I will leave the choice to you. Put on low flame. That’s it , enjoy¬†–¬†watch , sleep .. do whatever you want.

After 10 minutes , ask your husband to go have a look. Is the chicken tender yet?

After another 10 minutes , ask your maid to have  a look.Is the chicken cooked?

After another 10 minutes – get your own ass up there and check if chicken is cooked.

Oh yeah , I forgot to tell you -do not add water . All the stuff releases water and its usually not dry. If you have already added water by now , then never mind, you can watch 2 episodes of Big Bang Theory instead of 1 planned.

After 30 minutes ..and Voila !

I tell you its THE tastiest chicken dish ever and smartest too!

 


 

I got a pic ūüôā

chickenonpot


PS: The smartest dish to cook is rice , but , hmm , though its very good for cook ,  bad for waistline ,so I say ..be smart , skip it.


PPS: Some of the Indian recipe do not come under my specialty , like making roti the Indian bread – its a full time job in kitchen. Be smart , get a cook or roti maker or order.


PPPS: This post makes me eat chicken so much now . I should probably tell cook to make her special konkan style chicken recipe tonight ūüėČ