Ahoy Captain! 10 questions answered

Captain Paul asked 10 questions, anyone can answer and I have been answering them since morning, since I read his questions.

Floating in my head all day ,I thought, why not blog it. Been lazy with this blog anyways. Here is an inspiration to write and here is the blog.

Paul – Totally ire-relevant, Do you know you have the most handsome Prime Minister in recent time ? But probably, you already know that and it doesn’t matter 🙂

Now, that I have said that to a Canadian, lets begin, answering 10 questions . Like I said, anyone can attempt this quiz, go ahead and tell your secrets out there in blogosphere. Link it back to his post, like am doing here.

What is the best hiding spot in your current place of residence?
I live in an apartment , it will take anyone about 5 minutes to reach every nook of this apartment However, this shouldn’t stop anyone from trying to hide here, a special mention of my 8-year-old boy, who thinks, hiding or rather standing next to the refrigerator, covering his face with both his palms or hands, will make him invisible. Gives a new meaning to hiding in plain sight. Ain’t it?

The person walking in front of you drops $20 on the ground and doesn’t notice. What do you do?
First, that person got to be a visiting guest from other country. We can drop 20 Indian Rupees here, not $. Any dollar present in anyone’s wallet here , must be placed in that special compartment of wallet which is reserved for foreign currencies, occasionally taken out to show off to friends or kids. ( PS: I have AUS Dollars, Did you know Aussies make their money water-proof , how cool is that ! ). Second, such a person carrying such a currency will have presence of mind to notice its fall as soon as the bank note begin its fall !

So really, I needn’t do anything because the second part of your question Paul, “Doesn’t notice.”.. hmm. fat-chance. However, its your quiz, I could hear you say “Let’s assume, it does happen , the guy doesn’t notice, his mind is elsewhere, on that pani-puri stall that just opened after lockdown”

I will call out and hand him his money, actually, I may just call out and show him where his money dropped. Not wise to touch notes, these days – don’t you think?. This also begs question, what was the person doing carrying 20$ in India, just instruct him to install one of those payment apps and carry mobile everywhere and he will be fine. Keep your shiny waterproof money home!

In elementary school, I read a book called, Lost in the Barrens. What is a book you read in school and what do you remember about it?
I don’t remember reading books in my school time. We had a book with short stories called “Read for Pleasure”, but unlike schools these days here, I don’t recall being asked to read a whole literature book . Sad. I know.

I remember reading The Gift of the Magi. Great Story, although , thinking about it now, I see the wife was smart, her hair will grow back and she can use the comb her husband got. Can’t say the same about her husband though. Women were always smarter.

I remember reading about Venice, the city of canals. And I fell in love with the thought of it. Ever since then, I desire to visit the city some day. See the picture above? It isn’t Venice, but beautiful anyhow, Eh? It’s our very own Shikara ride on Dal lake.

In Eminem’s song, “Lose Yourself,” he says: “There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.” Describe, in detail, your ideal pasta meal.
Does it have to be a pasta meal? I mean, it isn’t staple here. Okay, now I can hear you saying – you can describe in detail, any of your favorite meal and this is how this question was lingering in my mind since morning , My mind may have read it the way it wanna answer.

So my favorite meal is any meal made by my mother aka Ma. You will hear most of us, Indians saying that. Not because we are emotional children but literally , that is how it is. Mother’s make the best food here , albeit , best and favorite of her child. Not that my son can say the same about his mother’s cooking.

Anyhow, to continue with the answer, I have tried to re-create my mother’s recipe and it just doesn’t have the same taste. Can’t get the same pleasing aroma, the same crisp and curry and the right amount of masala! I miss all her fish curry and that effortlessly fried-vegetable-dish made with veggies that she picked out of her kitchen garden, tossed it in the Kadai with mustard oil and salt. Its definitely magic that you can make such a delicious food with just those 3 simple ingredients – mustard oil , salt and vegetable.

The other lady who makes best meal is my mother-in-law. She is jack of all, can create a masterpiece out a very banal , undistinguished veggie like bitter-gourd. Yes, Bitter-gourd, you heard it right! And she just doesn’t stop at that, her sweet treats are straight out of heaven’s kitchen. She can transform the humble bread into royal shahi-tukda and give a new meaning to roti(Indian bread) layered with sweet-jaggery-mixed-coconut, (my mouth is watering, just thinking about it right now) I can’t even name it, because she literally discover recipes .. nameless , heavenly food.

Am missing food, and moms of-course!

By the way, We can’t put vomit and mom’s spaghetti in the same sentence.

If you and a partner went on The Amazing Race, would you be the driver, or the navigator in the backseat with a map? Explain your choice.
Let me dig into one of my old blog for this, yup, here is the detail explanation as you asked to explain.

TL:DR – Am not a person who can be associated with driving or navigating. Am devoted to either enjoying the view passing by or dozing off. Or commenting on my husband “hey – why don’t you place both of your feet on the car seat, just like me, relax, this is our car and that is our road ” , If you didn’t laugh at that line, let me explain, it sounds very sarcastic when said in Hindi, to a husband who is trying to be both navigator and driver at the time when google map wasn’t popular while his wife sits on passenger seat napping.

These days, I still doze off or enjoy view outside while google aunty is telling my husband to take the next right. Amazing Race must be amazing, can’t pass that view. But this isn’t answering your question ..right?

I will be navigator, lesser of the two devil and I cant drive.

In Home Alone 2, Kevin (a 10-year-old boy) ended up in New York by himself, while his entire family was in Florida. What is something you did when you were 10-years-old, that “kids these days” wouldn’t understand?
Cassettes? Do you know what it is?And what do we do with it?

Is Tic-Tac-Toe a fair game?
Yes, ask my husband, he bought a game of Tic-Tac-Toe and now has many tricks up his sleeve , including for one when he is handling O’s and not X’s.

It wasn’t a fair game before he bought that.

Velma, from the Scooby-Doo series, is known for losing her glasses. If you were a character in a TV show, what would you be known for?
Either I will be known for freezing or laughing, I took part in a play when I was 12 and this was the revelation. If I see those blinding lights, I will freeze.

Or I will be laughing hard at the straight face actor trying to do his job. I will be known for the one who was laughing during a mourning scene or standing straight face during a really emotional scene.

What causes you to lose your temper?
When people are blocking the panel that shows the floor the elevator is now, while am waiting for it to arrive. Most of the elevator has that panel above , so everyone can see where the hell it is , but I have been through few, that has it on the side and people stand in front of it, knowing very well that they aren’t see-through. I get impatience as I don’t know how long I will have to wait, 2 minutes or 2 sec? , Is it arriving soon or stuck at 2 floors above? Can I reach faster by taking the stairs….. and so on. I hope you get the gist !

When am calling out to my son who is right here, right here as in right here sitting in front of me but won’t acknowledge me back when I yell his name. I think it is every mother’s problem here, kids just go deaf when you want them to listen. Just reply “Yes Mummy” and I will know my words of wisdom has passed through that skull of yours!

How many contacts in your phone have you not communicated with in the last three years?
This was an embarrassing question in the morning with a deep philosophical meaning, or maybe still is. But now, middle of the night, I think it is not.

I mean, I have contact number of the guy who fixed my chimney 4 years ago , at least 3 contacts who supply daily grocery to home and I may have dropped one of them, but the number is fed already. So the answer to this question is “loads” and no deeper meaning than this.

THE BONUS QUESTIONS

Think about items you might find in a Lost & Found. Now, draw as many of those items as you can in 60 seconds. Share your picture.

Lost & Found of where? I never had a lost and found at my school. My son has it. They just display every item in the lobby of the school. I have never been to Lost & Found of Mall or Airports…

I think , I will pass. No answer or rather no picture.

Text someone, “I can’t find my phone.” What is their reply?

Let me see who can I torture. I texted two of my friends.

After 30 minutes: They didn’t notice yet. I suppose Friday is a busy day here.

Finally, I texted my husband, he looked up and asked “Why are you messaging me this?”
Again, What was the purpose of this question Captain?

You are alone in a city you’ve never been to, and have $500 to spend. What city are you in? What places do you go to? What do you spend your money on?

Venice ! I will definitely spend money on that Gondola ride. And food, nothing Indian. And visit the local théâtre, a stand-up comedy, a play, nothing musical. And then go to the local vegetable market and pick up a basket of fruit.

Am not big fan of big hotels , so my accommodation will be AirBnB home with a tiny balcony that opens up to canal. Where I can sit and watch Gondola rides and the busy canal traffic and be amazed that people live here, all life and take boats to school, market, friend place.. It never gets boring.

So that’s it folks! Those were the questions, I will know my score at the end of this month? Isn’t it Paul? Captain? knock-knock, you there? I hope you lived through all of that blabbing 😀

This was fun!

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And it took a lock down to get here..

Folks, Villagers, Muggles ! Anyone home ? Huh !

Around 60 Days ago

My husband made this for me. It’s DIY.

He broke an old superhero toy and fixed it up with a key-chain to get here. Yeah, Key-chain…just the thing I was looking for (Hint: Sarcasm ) to keep my keys.Very useful at the time like this.

Very romantic, Ain’t it ? I bet no other wife can say that about her husband – “Oh he gave me a gift. A hand made key-chain”.

No it isn’t heart-shaped. Or a Rose. Or a Teddy.

“It’s an arm. Batman Arm.

He asked if I want more, perhaps a batman ear-rings ? The man sure knows how to show his love.

Either that or this was the first sign of him losing it.

And we were only in the first week of lock-down.
Oh my! What was I gonna do?

After 60 days.

He created this.

This isnt me. Who is she ?

 And many more.. Fat ladies and Jadhu-phocha expert gentlemen, Presenting the pencil sketch from my better half!

She is my Aunt. My father’s elder sis. In all her wrinkled glory… Aint she beautiful? One of my favourite.

And this is me. I asked him to make me skinny. Less chubby. But , He is a man of truth. Or man who could only copy good!
Anthony Hopkins – The badass .

Rating: 5 out of 5.
After Batman arm ear-ring, this was obviously coming. Did you know she was in Israel Army for 2 years!
She doesnt look happy. Why?!
He could draw a cat too.
There goes his fav lady.

So, Stay Safe, Stay at home. Found a hobby yet? Am telling you , this ain’t going away until the last living person on earth has uploaded his bit on FB!

I My husband has done his bit.

  • Jan 2020

  • Feb 2020

  • March 2020

  • July 2020?!

A cheesy post for a non-cheesy man..

This post is gonna be really really cheesy. The sort that I don’t do often. In fact, I may never hit Publish.

But Since you are reading this and you are not me, so I must have hit “Publish”.

Lame, I know 😉

So, what makes this cheesy? Am gonna talk about Love, the goody-cuddly love and it is gonna sound like the love declarations from FB feed that I find so cheesy! I mean, You love your husband, tell him, don’t declare to whole wide FB world.

So this is how it goes.

Today ( This post is way too late, but let’s assume today is the day when) marks the 11th year of us being married. And we decided to lunch together since I couldn’t take time off office. We aren’t a couple to go out often. So going out is special. Luckily, I have switched job to a place very near to his office. So meeting for lunchtime was easy.

Now, this is important- I switched job recently, as recent as a month. and am adjusting to the new place. It is not a struggle, but living in past is my struggle.

It doesn’t help, that sometimes I miss my old colleagues. Life was much simpler and somehow happy. Life here is fantastic, but let’s say isn’t simple. You know the feeling when you are among loads of people, yet feel lonely sometimes even though you are so chatty in the head?

Like everything is just noise and you can hear the voice inside and outside your head. Or actually no voice, coz you are just bored and don’t want to think or listen.

I have this feeling during lunch time.

Of course, today wasn’t gonna be any different.

But hey it is different! I was going out with hubby.

We decided on a fancy restaurant just two blocks from my office. As I left office and walked toward the venue, I noticed everything is so much better here than the previous job-… the work, the garden, the office. Everything here is perfect.. but not familiar, not mine. It isn’t known. And with that feeling, I was spiraling down into the same silence 😦

And then I saw him, not where I expected. He had walked a couple of blocks more to reach me. To walk a distance little with me. In the mid of all unknown, I saw him with a cheesy smile.

And I was in love again. In a heartbeat. ♥ With him of course 😀

The feeling of familiarity was back. Am home and I can drop my shield and feel what I wanna feel. I could tell him what I miss. It felt good to be me, no pretentious.

We walked hand-in-hand like lovers, like first-timers who cant get hands off each other Awwww. lovely- cuddly told you 😉

And I enjoyed it, I enjoyed the comfort. He doesn’t even have to listen to me. It is just his presence that is a comfort. And tells me that I will go past this feeling, this chatty head.

I guess I really needed to see him.

And now to the blogosphere, perhaps to FB world too, Am gonna profess my love for my really really lazy-weekend-only-on-sofa husband of 11 years! Am glad you are here with me.

So this is really cheesy? Isn’t it?

I mean, what the hell – You love your husband, go tell him not write a post on blog 😉 next you will be sharing it on FB !

PS: The image is from our wedding, 11 years ago. Since then together we must have gained 200 Kgs. Isn’t that a #relationshipgoal!

Tso Moriri – Feast your eyes!

My better half did it again. One trip to Leh in a lifetime isn’t enough. He has to go again. and again.

Me: But why Leh again? This will be your third… you were there less than a year ago.

Him: Yeah but it wasn’t raining then? I want to see rain. 

But, When a man got to go, he got to go. So, up he goes..to Leh, on this Royal Enfield.

The Only change next time be-  #solobikeride will be #nosolobikeride

These pictures are from Tso Moriri. This is a mountain lake.  The lake and surrounding area are protected as the Tso Moriri Wetland Conservation Reserve. This was his de-tour, and he was out of mobile reach for two whole days.

I don’t blame him to go incommunicado … This is so bloody gorgeous!  Feast your eyes ❤

Me: let’s pack our bag and move here. People actually live here! 

 

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Puff! Just LOOK at that! 

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Blue sky and blue water.

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The nearest village.

 

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His home stay 🙂

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The nearest Karzok Village

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The man himself!

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These were his local guides 🙂 The girls accompanied him to lake Arent they cute?

Love it…then list it.

Rain. Barish. Definitely on top of my list.

Winter Sun. I love the warmth.

The warmth of my husband…He is hot!

The smile. The million dollar smile of my son, and his inane chatter.

The peace when the inane chatterer is finally asleep.

The sleeping chatterer and his peaceful face.Basically anything he does.

Food. At 1600 hours when am so hungry, I could eat a horse.

Food. At 1900 when am so hungry, I could eat an elephant a fish. I just had horse couple of hours back. I can’t be THAT hungry to eat an elephant now.

Sunrise. I guess. I actually haven’t seen one in a long time.

Bonfire. Only at home. During winters. Holding husband’s hand. Listening to inane chatter surrounded by my siblings and parent. Gosh, I really miss this.

Fish. When it is fried and added in curry.

Or Steamed.

Food seems to occur frequently in my list. Am I hungry now? Would everyone’s list have so much food?

The “Like” on my posts. Seriously. Thank you. Hit that like and remember to follow. Should I shamelessly ask more?

Poo and pee, especially after holding on for a long time. Whatever be the reason for holding.

Saying whatever and nevermind to annoy friend Tomas who hates any conversation that ends with whatever or nevermind.

Nevermind, he doesn’t read my blog. No point annoying my other pretty Readers. So Whatever, let’s continue with my list.

A night out with girl gang. Lollie-pollies, thank you for transforming me into a drunk dancer, saving my ass from the kitty-party-pout-selfies set up!

The left tilt of the weighing scale needle. Yay, am losing it!

Hot steamed white rice with ghee and aloo pitika (mashed potato).

I hope no one notices that the previous bullet is about food. Should I not write this post on an empty stomach. Do I see a pizza in the air?

Words. Fonts.

A resolved bug. Am surprised it is on my list. I do not want to be known as the IT girl.

Horror stories and the chit-chatting about the ghost. Are you sure there is no ghost in your apartment?

The call from a friend at 2230 hours to have cake. Home-made. Freshly baked. Nidhi , You rock 🎸

My phone showing Papa calling…

The bed. When it is all made neatly. Ready to engulf me.

Cuddling. Under a cover. Warm body.

Or Just me under a warm quilt/razai.

Sleeping late in the morning. Or just sleeping.

Chat at 3 am. Actually I hate that. Why can’t I sleep? Text at 3. Naaah.

Saturday and Sunday! Why don’t we have more of these days in a week? Like Mon, Sun, Tue, Sun, Wed, Sat, Thurs, Sat, Fri and then of course Sat-Sun. I stretched 7 days to 11 days. I think we can nip Monday. And Thursday too. And call it 9 days a week.

Book authored by John Green. When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you’d stop suffering when they did.

I swear, my husband would swear by that line. He is a certified non-sufferer. Contest open for anyone who can make him suffer. Prize money 1 million. I know I will make cool million.

Harry Potter movie. Add The Fantastic Beast to the list. Hindi Movie QueenLondon thumakta.

Assam. North East. India. Mountain.

The Big Bang Theory. And Friends. I will be there for you..

A long weekend. It’s coming soon…

Kaju-katli (Dry cashew nut sweet) and Mango (The king of the fruit). No one can eat just one. Summer is only good because of Mango.

Fart. Am so proud I could say that out loud. Technically I wrote. Didn’t say. Whatever.

Nevermind.Are you reading this? I sure do hope you do and be annoyed.

A good book. One that you cannot put down. Especially the last few chapters.

A walk in the rain. Even if it is silly. Amu- Do you remember our walk around apartment last monsoon. PS: Readers- Amu and I are NOT a thing together, although it would seem like two persons walking under rain as being a thing together.

Sunset, I always wished to have a dress that steals color from the setting sun.

The color of beetroot.

Capsicum and Bell Pepper.

Hey, Have you have lost weight…patli ho gaye hai” kind of greeting.

The coffee-time at the office.

The lunchtime at the office. Without A. He eats very slow. He is a sloth-like-eater. Actually, sloth will win.

Me and son jumping in front of the TV when the husband is insanely occupied into the TV.

Lotus. Always fascinated by this. Never seen one up close.

Color Green. It suits anyone, anything. Pleasant to eyes. One would say Blue. Whatever.

That should be all..for now. Nevermind my list. What are the things that you love the most? Make a list this valentine and be thankful.

❤💕💓💖💞💘💛💜💙💞💗👣

Image source…Google.

I hate it when someone else has power to ruin my day, to make me sad, to upset me.

I hate it when someone’s happiness gives me so much joy that I do stupid silly thing over and over only to be embarrassed later.

Ahem. So basically, I just hate Love.

Karma is a bitch .

or probably a dog. I mean why bitch, why not a dog? My fellow feminist will agree.

I don’t care. Not for this post.So don’t turn away coz you smelt a feminist.

The point of this post is, Karma is indeed a bitch or dog or whatever you wanna call it if it can be called “it”.

Why?

Because that would explain, why my husband even being on the wrong side of all doing, gets his way around doing all things, the wrong way.

This case was a direct indication of Karma “Oh! Get it, lady, he is right, even though wrong.”

The Evidence

My husband never ever takes his towel to his bath.  He just conveniently whistles,open his door slightly, peeks out his head, extend his hand and I hush-phash-rush on that sound, hand him over his towel.  Please imagine it, because it is romantic. But do not imagine with my husband. Use your own. Back in days, when nothing else mattered than seeing your husband dripping wet, fresh, scented, I would wait for the whistle and rest is ahem ahem ahem.

Now the romance is replaced by war-room tactics, to get my son out of the door before his school bus honks! Breakfast – check. snack pack-check. Milk-check. Oh no ! I forgot his pencil box. Why the hell do you even take it out of the bag? Please imagine this too. With my son. I would surely welcome you to try and replace me someday. The morning 7 to 8 AM. And, In the middle of all this chaos, I have to answer his whistle. Every day, with strict notes “Take your towel with you….”.

I, on the other hand, never go to bathroom un-prepared. Towel – check. Blah blah blah – check. I do not whistle, do not disturb, do not need an attendee to attend to my bathroom calls.

Who should Karma support? The wife who is prepared, well planned or a husband who goes to take bath without his towel?

One day I decided to set things straight for good. There comes the usual whistle, and instead of usual rush to answer it, I ignored, said am busy and didn’t pass his towel for a good 10 minutes or so.

If he can’t do it himself, he better wait when I can. Lesson learned.

Or So I thought.

Happy in my accomplishment, I sent son off to school and set out to my morning duties.

And imagine what did I forget to bring with me? To my bath.

On the day,  when I thought I taught my husband a lesson in the morning duties.

 

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This is my husband, while he waited patiently 15 minutes before passing me my towel. 

Karma -You are a bitch.

Then

Me: Sweetie, am feeling really hot…Uff!
Sweetie aka husband: Why don’t you take off…….
And rest of the night spent in exercising and feeling hotter 😉

Now

Me: Sweetie, am feeling really hot… Uff!
Sweetie aka husband: What is it set to ..? I told you to set it to 19 (irritatingly) give me the remote.
And rest of the night spent in adjusting AC setting.

True story.

How we pack ..re-pack .

 How I pack my bag.  

  1. hmm , am going for 15 days , means at-the-least 10-12 dresses.
  2. Then a sari .. what if I have to attend a wedding or family function… (PS : My Ma has truck load of Sari and all I need to do is carry a nice fitting blouse)   But , I have to carry one of my own. (PS : each sari easily qualifies for more than 500 gms and a kilo with accessories and side dress..and my Ma has better collection than me. )  But I look good in this  red one of mine (PS: trust me when I say , each and every girl on this planet earth will look good in sari , in any sari ,no matter what is the figure which means I should look good in any of her sari and skip 500 gm  )
  3. Then it sure gonna be hot during march , so I should pack some light cotton dress for hot nights.
  4. Or who knows , it might still be cold during nights. So pair of good woolen socks.
  5. hmm , will it be cold during evening definitely.. Should take a shawl.  (PS : believe me when I say my mother also has truckload of shawl AND socks at home at my disposal)
  6. Perhaps a jacket .. for rides on bike 🙂
  7.  I should get few dresses… to visit my immediate neighbors. Should not be very fancy ,  casual…like I just walked out of my home and visited them. “Oh , this dress , I just ….sorry I forgot to change .. very old
  8. Dress to visit my family relatives who live in the town.
  9. Dress to visit my family relatives who do not live in the town. Well , one doesn’t visit them often , so when one does should try to leave good impression with one’s  new good dress. (PS : The “one” is me needing a new good dress , as if I-meet-them-once-a-decade relatives have seen all my old dresses!)
  10. I have to carry my denim for all comforts of denim pants.. so , hmm 4-5 tops with it.
  11. What if we decide to visit a fine dine.. hmm. none of these qualify.. I should pick a dress…
  12. Well, we sure are planning to go picnic . A picnic dress.
  13. ..

PS: I bet most of you just skimmed through my list. Didn’t read it fully. Do not be asshole .. read it.

And then comes the shoes , sandal , heels , and accessories , gold jewelry , BAGS! and how can I forget my lotions , creams … perfumes..ear-rings !

And then gifts – for all , of all kinds.

And then comes stationary – My diary , a pen ..what if I need to write something , my mother’s house surely may not have a pen and paper. Duh!

Total weight = 14.9Kg . Oh my , just what my airline will allow.

Oh wait , 7 kg allowed as cabin baggage. Hurrah..!

Let me pack my loafers ..so comfy. And an extra pair of pajama. And some nuts for journey.. and this small purse for small occasions..

Time taken : Months of analysis , weeks of shopping , hours of packing , re-packing. And then I might as well miss  my eye-wear!

How my husband packs his bag.

Open up wardrobe. Picks up 5 T-Shirt randomly and 2 pants.

Done.

I insist on carrying a shirt for formal occasion. Open up wardrobe again  , Picks up a shirt.

Done.

I insist on buying new T-Shirt .

Says his 2 year old tees are just as fine as new.

Done.

I insist on carrying something light woolen for nights.

Says he is … done. Done.

Total weight: 5 kg or less?

Time taken : 10 minutes.

How my 3.6 year old car-crazy son  packs his bag.

  1. Red hot-wheel car.
  2. Blue hot-wheel car.
  3. Yellow car.
  4. Mc Queen car.
  5. Blue Jeep
  6. Black truck.
  7. Green car .Mummy , cannot leave it ..Sad ho jayega na (will be sad)

Done.

He thinks this is all he needs for his trip to Nanu ke ghar. Cute , Isnt he ?