My last Will !

Am gonna die soon , a horrible death where my nose will spill out slimy substance and throat will be chock-a-bloc with this slimy. God ! I just got a kindle paperwhite and celebrated my birthday , Oh no god.. am too young to die ..

“Shutup” ,  said hubby “Nobody dies from running nose or sore throat , You just have cold.”

“Huh, what do you know ?You are not a doctor , just an engineer.”

Am tired of countless trip to washroom to set mucus free from my nostril and pissed that I cannot sing with this sore throat.

In one of those trip , I think I saw a bus waiting to pick me up , the driver looks kind of heavenly.

A bus ? wow , so many people die on any single day these days that pick-up-dead-guys God “Yamraj” finally bought a bus… couldn’t afford as many agents of death as dead people!

Anyways , getting back to topic , am gonna die and I have stuffs. I need to write my will , my last testament..

  • The water bottle on my office desk , has seen good days until I poured hot water directly into its plastic body and it turned into a hot body with curves.. I should give it to someone who is bachelor with no gf and  will be in love with anything hot with curves.

Now : “Himadri , stop using that bottle . ”

After : “Himadri , thanks for the hot body curves bottle , I feel loved 😉 ”

  • The pair of sock to keep my feet warm during winter.

PS : So what if am living in India where winter is not the exact winter of “Winter is coming!”,rather here “Winter never comes” , but am entitled to feel cozy with warm feet.

Now : Hubby  says “At least wash , it has already seen 3 winters without water bath.”

After : when he will miserably miss me and wont stop thinking , mourning over me …” Aha , the sweet smell of  her feet and socks , who are you gonna warm up for winters. “.!

  •  This project which refuses to come out in any final shape coz the design never seems to take off . PM – please take care of your countless-meetings-vague-req project. I leave with you my last thoughts as a software designer and all the worldly  things that comes with it.
  • And, for the boys soon to get married in India and douche-bags among them who thinks that asking dowry from girl’s father is helplessness ” It isn’t me , my mother is asking.”  Smart-ass , Is  your mother gonna chill her beer in refrigerator you are getting as a “gift” , or warm her ass on the sofa your wife got from her home,bought with her father’s money that you had absolutely NO contribution in earning and wtf, wasn’t even remotely around to help him earn so he could fulfill “gift” desires of your whosoever-asked-dowry ?I really hate you dowry-sucking-douche-bags!

For such smart-ass , please spare the girl’s father as I leave you : my old refrigerator , my husband’s decade old bike and the CRT TV that I gave away to my maid recently ,but I think you are poorer than her and deserve more brains .

I might even come back from my grave to haunt you if I hear that bloody excuse my-mother-asked-I-didn’t-want.


 

PS: Ashwinee suggested I take hot milk with turmeric and jaggery and will be fine in 2 nights. Sindhu said take hot soup and sleep. If any of this works and I come out kicking and live in 2 days ,all the above stands null and void!

PPS: While am planning my will , hubby is calling insurance agents to insure my life for a bloody hell sum of a crore…He has big plans and I intend to enjoy my life.

“Dying” Cancel.

 

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