14th Feb was Valentine day. It is a silly day to celebrate love. Love should be celebrated every day. Not just one day. And with that one line, I sound bored.I know. Anyhow. We sort… More
I have been thinking after reading numerous wishes I have received in last 24 hours. Everyone suddenly seems to be sincerely wishing me love, peace, happiness, and prosperity for the new year ahead. Are you listening to all this Universe – You have got a job to do!
Hmm, Something tells me that love, peace, happiness .. is all perspective. God will be confused,
he She has no time to read between lines, and given the amount of request perhaps it would be better if my friends could send me wishes, telling exactly what to do. Anything could go wrong in sending love,peace and happiness my way!
God: Hmm, Someone sent her happiness – So should I send a puppy or give a flat tummy? Hell .. I have got plenty to do ..let’s just send her a puppy.
Noooooooooooooo ! It’s the other one lady!
To all my wonderful readers, visitor, bloggers, followers, if you have not send any wishes, read and you will know what you have say. Be precise 😉
On top of my list, and that of everyone else
“May you get a waistline that will fit you into size
XS, S (Alright, I will be practical) M size!”
Head: Something tells me this will be wish of 90% of people of ladies on planet earth, which might be too much for God to handle and also that am writing this very late, I might be already at the bottom of wish list, but I could certainly outwit if everyone wishes me this, certainly the number of messages counts ! See there are lots of these waistline messages, let’s just do it and get the hell out of her list.
May your dinner plate have a constant supply of chicken,
mutton keema, and pan fried spice wrapped fish fry, and on the days when dinner looks green and veggie, the universal-power-of-meat magically turns every veg mouth-full into chicken-curry/fish-fry mouth-full!
May you get super-eyes that can burn your calories just by “looking” at the person running on the treadmill. Just a stare and there 100 calories gone! Evil laugh
May your husband learns to put the SUPER WET towel on the clothesline, NOT, definitely NOT on the bed.
May your son learns to keep his mouth shut during poo, I swear I do not find his Look mummy, that is bada(fat) potty, this is chota(small) potty talks cute anymore!
May you win a lotto to visit Venice and a wonderful nanny to take care of your son at home (definitely not with you), while you and husband live your dream of Gondola ride where you are singing at the top of voice THE song that made you fall in love with Venice!
May your husband shaves his beard every day, each and every of 365 days ahead, such that it no more render half of his face area useless, giving him a powerful weaponry to annoy me just by brushing it off my face whenever I plan to annoy him and he wants to scare me away. Trust me, you do not want to feel those little prickly hair monster and loose a game of I-can-outsmart-you with your partner.
May you get to walk in the rain, under the umbrella, big enough to hold you and your husband together, but small to keep you both close. AFTER he has put his towel on the clothesline and shaved his beard.
May you never hold onto the feeling of I need to pee immediately outside the bathroom door contemplating if it would be rude to knock while some lady is possibly just looking through her facebook feeds and planning her next selfie – a pout with beauty mode ON to make her skin glowing like a light bulb.
May the days and nights of the weekend be longer than weekdays. And that your days be filled with absolutely nothing but a bed and pillow.If that is a subject, then be the subject matter expert in it.
May WordPress gives you a free domain! Yay!
And as for new year resolution, I have tried , revised and finally made peace with what Calvin says.
Just when I decided to quit eating sweet , Universe noticed Aha.
And my dear neighbor decided to learn to bake cakes !
Two. Chocolate and Pineapple.
With frosting. Pink !
Pineapple is my favorite !
Universe : Victory!
Coming back to work , after a heavy lunch at a fine-dine restaurant , on a Friday , sponsored by the office , I learned a great deal about human anatomy.
When stomach is full up to the brim , brain stops functioning.
Mind is in trance and human body is capable of sleep walker-talker-worker.
Would you say Zombie – Stage 1 ??
Nope , am not a photographer. I don’t have patience . It’s like fishing. Wait for the moment and click at THE exact time to capture the perfect moment. Who has so much time?
But , I have a husband , who as I said earlier , loves lilliput stuff more than anything else, has patience and passion for waiting for THE moment. When I noticed on Susan’s blog about the Macro Moment challenge , I started pestering him for settings , I could pick a macro pic from his collection myself, but he has to supply me with camera details and settings. You see , am an enabler , I help to spread hubby’s hobby , I must be the greatest wife on planet earth evil laugh 😀
I realised , am blabbing a lot. Here is the pic. It took a week and now, here it is. Susan. Thanks for this challenge!
Lens: Raynox DCR -250
something . I will update the exact settings as soon as hubby provides. next time , I will be better prepared!
The insect : Hey , that yellow pollen looks delicious. I have to get it for Mrs Insect! She will make a perfect soup.
Husband and I , traveling by train. Sitting , side-by-side.
He is reading a newspaper , and am looking out of the window.
Me ( with 1000 watts smile , when an idea worth 1000 watts stuck me) :
“Let’s just pretend , we don’t know each other. Am with my son and you are a stranger. And here is the fun part –You are hitting on me! Imagine that. I will pretend to frown , roll my eyes , ignore you , but you will persist , push conversations..smile. blah blah”
After 2 minutes , I have already improvised , and continue blabbing .
“Better, I will script it. We will start when I will ask you “What is the time , Sir” , and you will take it as a cue …you will answer but continue talking..ask personal questions, play with my son.. .. .. blah blah …be really friendly … try to impress me … try to make a joke … funny line .. act intellectually .. hoping I will be impressed .. nervous to ask me ..”
After 2 minutes ,More blah blah…
“So , are you ready? Shall we start the act?”
I adjust my dress , hair , take a sip , pretend to be super -busy and ..
Light , Camera , Action
Me: Hello Sir, what is the time?
Husband (wtf-who-the-hell-are-you ) :I DON’T TALK TO STRANGER.
Shit happens, on train , jokes fell flat, train moves on ….And am like..
… you have permission to use my recipe, am gonna share with you.And thank me (profusely) later , which am sure you would (profusely).
Because not only am sharing a quick easy peasy recipe , am giving wings to ideas , one where you will find yourself spending less time in the kitchen and more time doing whatever shit you wanna do outside kitchen,without compromising on taste. Yes. This recipe is awesome!
Now , continue , without any more delays , Here it is
Drum rolls !
Cooking time , 20 minutes.
Actual cooking time , in the kitchen – 5 minutes.
- Get a packet of noodles and a packet of soup. Any soup , any noodle. I have these two in my storage. Veg Hakka Noodles and Chicken Delite Knorr Soup.
- Find a deep pot , Boil water as per instructions on noodle packet. I didn’t wait long enough and added tomato , pea and then white sesame seeds for its looks! Handsome colors ha ?
Once the water starts boiling , add soup , stir it once.Avoid any lumps.
- Once the soup powder is completely dissolved , add noodles. Add whatever veggie /chicken /meat residing in your fridge. I added tomato , peas, paneer, green chilli , cauliflower blah blah blah. At this time , I missed boneless chicken a lot 😦 ,but what the hell , continue.
- I peeked again into a fridge and found this leftover chickpea curry and awesome mint chutney. Moto is to add whatever is left in your fridge. Get rid of that sauce lying there for a week , or the curry you no more like to have as is , blah blah !
Now , your 5 minutes into the kitchen is over. Go out of this fire and water chamber , find something else to do , like reading this post , clicking on like and follow!
Check on the soupy noodle after some time and see if the consistency appeals you. Mine was appealing and this is how it look in the end.
This was a few weeks ago , and I have already tried this twice , days when my cook ditched me and I was in no mood to cook which seems perpetual these days.
Go one , try it.
And , If by some bad karma , or past life sins , or sins of your forefathers , or sins of your neighbour , or sins of your friends , highly incapable and unqualified taste buds, you didn’t like what you cooked by following my recipe, You are permitted to cuss me, call me names , but remember “Who made the dish? YOU! HIGH TIME , Take responsibility for your action !” <End of barking>
I think he is crazy. Spending hours with his microlens trying to capture the tiny winy flower/insect/bug. Sometimes other stuff, larger than 10mm might catch his fancy..and be lucky to be immortalised in the digital world.
My husband. Love of my life, with the love of his life – Camera , Bike Ride to Madhe Ghat. I wonder when did I slip from number 1 position .
Isn’t this beautiful?
Location : Assam – mountain , rain , waterfall.
Me : Adi , Look that is waterfall .. see how water is falling down ..waterfall.
Location : Tamini Ghat , again – mountain , rain , waterfall.
Me : Adi , yaad hai (Remember this ?) a waterfall . Isn’t it lovely?
Location : Morning at Home , Adi woke up with a full bladder.
Adi ( in the bathroom , naughty smile ) : Mummy , mummy Look waterfall !
Nope , nope , nope , no , no , no son ..nahi!
THAT ! is not what I meant!
I saw him first , 4 years ago. My first feeling “Why is he so tiny? Doc said he will be above 3 kilos. Look at his nose , his eyes , he looks like my papa!” and I was hooked.
Ever since then, I haven’t stopped loving him , falling head over heels with this little man every single day. The kind of love I have for him , actually surprise me. That am capable of loving someone so much. And the best part is I get love in return,so much more than I could imagine. The little man loves me , adores me , lights me up with his voice. He does everything right , at least to me. Believe it or not , a mother can feel , actually literally feel her child’s physical pain. I did for , possibly first two years. And stopped only after he started faking his pain to mess with me , or to get attention ,or just to be naughty.
Every year , I tell myself “Oh this is the best phase, I wish he would never grow out of this (phase). ” And he amazes me with his next milestone.
Yesterday, a day before he turned 4 , he finished his rice plate himself, on his own . The waiter at biryani house gave him a plate ,a little spoon and he started eating himself. Before I could help , which I do usually, my husband shushed me and I watched him use a spoon and eat rice-biryani , from the corner of my eyes , heart thumping in excitement (I swear these motherly hormones behave crazily stupid someday , what is so exciting ? he is only eating rice with spoon???!) . Well , that was just once but it is a start.
We celebrated his 4th birthday today ,on 14th Aug , aka the day I meant to publish this post. Happy Birthday, Son <3. I will always love you. I cannot help , but love you all my life.
His take on turning 4 ” So am I as big as papa now?”
So , now to come back to the title of this post.
Me: Happy Birthday Adi , wow you are a big 4-year old now!
Adi : Why ?
Really ?! “why” that is the response..? The perpetual stream of “Why” from kid these days!.
Me : Because , 4 years ago, you were born from my tummy son.
Adi : Kyoun ? Aap mujhe kha gaye the kya mummy? Mummy , Did you eat me up ?
Ahem , ahem, So how he ended up in my tummy at first place! Good question.
Me (Hugging him tightly) : Yes , You are very very yummy Adi , so I ate you 🙂 , And now am gonna eat you again ……..
This was in my facebook feed today .I think it is a wonderful advice , one all of us should follow . Literally !
Heart : hmm Good advice , how do I follow it?
- Make a list of all friends. Let’s call it list A.
- Google ” How to cut open heart”.
- Google ” What is a good heart” ? Red, juicy , 4 chambers , beating rhythmically , pay attention to sound : lub-dub , dhak-dhak,ding-dong ?
- Get the first person from the list A. Follow instructions from 2 and 3.
- All good ? Congratulations ! I found a good person with a good heart.
- Bad heart? Move friend to not-my-friend list.
- Get the next person from list A ,repeat 5 and 6.
- Very Important : Don’t get caught cutting heart open. You do not want to be friend with people from jail.
- Be a good citizen , tell the friend in not-my-friend list that the heart is not good. Nope , nope , nope my X-friend , you have a bad heart. I saw it.
- Spread the word. Post it on FB , twitter , Instagram , write a post.
- Start a company to do the service above. Employ doctors. That will be the professional way to do it.Huge hit , make millions ..
- With millions in bank account , buy a bungalow. Move from apartment to bungalow.
- A new swanky car , which I cannot drive myself. So get a driver. 24/7
- More bull shit…..
At this point, Head could not take it anymore (yelling) : Stop this crazy shit and get back to work.
Uff , If only I had a supporting head !!!